Our Fate in Your Hands

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 22nd Oct 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2yvjwb4c/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Short Stories

A tale highlighting just how much power a barber wields. Respect them, they can make or ruin your day.

One mistake is all it takes so don't piss them off.

I know this might sound ridiculous but for some of us, our self-esteem is directly linked with the way we look. For example, if I look good, I feel like a million bucks but if I look terrible, well...yeah.

One particular week, I noticed that my hair had grown out and was making me look astoundingly horrendous so I decided to book my appointment with my barber John to sort that out.

The day came and as agreed upon, I found myself making my way to the barbershop. However, when I was approaching the location, I was hearing yelps of pain from inside. The yelps were quite loud and attracting a bit of attention because other passerby’s would be walking by; immersed in their own conversation but would shoot a glance at the barbershop whenever a yelp emanated from the shop.

Just what the fuck is going on?

I got inside and while nothing looked out of place, the place resembled nothing like the barbershop I was accustomed to. Usually when I walk in, I’d be greeted by a vibrant atmosphere. A game would be played on the television, I’d greet the other customers and jokes and banter would be shared. It could’ve been the coldest day but the warmth of the overall experience would stave off the chill.

It was always a welcoming place and the John would be the facilitator of that vibe.

On this day, none of that was happening. I walked in and extended my greetings but was in turn greeted to a cold reception. The patrons were silent with shell-shocked looks on their faces, hands on their mouths in shock whilst transfixed at what was happening at the cutting chair.

There was a guy in the chair getting his hair cut by John and while he’s my boy, it was clear that John wasn’t on point that day.

I say this because he was cutting the guys hair in an aggressive manner. Turning his head violently and running the clippers on the poor blokes head with such force that the folks who were watching felt the poor bastard’s pain.

It was clear that something was bothering John because he’d silently talk to himself and curse the poor patron whenever he yelped in pain. It was as if he had something on his mind and was taking it out on the poor guy’s head.

Stay still and be silent.
But that hurt, you bastard!
You are a grown man, stop whining!

This sort of exchange happened a couple more times till John was done and let me tell you, when John stood back to let the guy get off the chair, EVERYONE loudly exclaimed two words...

Holy Shit…

The way the guy had so many wounds from the haircut, he wouldn’t look out of place as a tiger. There were cut streaks all over his damn head. He himself examined his head, saw the damage which had been inflicted, opened his mouth as if to protest but thought better of it when he saw the mean look on John’s face, as if to say:

Say something, I fucken dare you…

The guy kept quiet, paid up the fee and limped out the barbershop with his tail between his legs. As he did that, John menacingly turned towards us (the remaining patrons) and simply asked:

Who’s next?

That barbershop was home to some of the toughest guys on the block. Men who’d seen and done questionable things. The type of guys who you’d want as backup when the going gets tough.

And no one wanted some.

With those two words, John put the fear of God into ten grown ass men. The barbershop emptied out like an evacuation was taking place.

Some may call them cowards. I call them smart.

In that barbershop, John was God and just like the Almighty, nobody wanted to test John seeing as he was in such a bad mood and in the same way that God has the power to create and destroy, a good haircut could be the difference between a great day and a shit day.


Barber, Barber Shop, Funny Story, Humor, Humour, Personal Experience, Personal Experiences

Meet the author

author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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