Painful Experiences

jenrose By jenrose, 1st Feb 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Death>Grief

These page may contain my most painful experiences but these experiences shaped me today. I accepted every experience, I have learned from them.

I lost my grandfather

He died on December 9, 2009. It was a, let's say, a very "crazy" experience because it was the first time I saw my heart and my soul fall apart all at the same time. It was pain unlike any other. I couldn't react right because I didn't know how. I received the news early in the morning, I was at school and so I refused to cry in front of my classmates. I held everything right in my throat. I didn't utter a word. I held everything so perfectly that my classmates thought that I was perfectly fine. If only they knew how messy my mind was, if only they knew that I was on the verge of falling apart and was ready to shut down any minute.

I didn't know what to say. All I ever did was cry when I arrived home late that afternoon. I worked hard a school all for my grandfather, and the moment I knew he died, the first question that ever came out of my mind was this: To whom will I work hard for? To whom will I do all these things for?. 6 years has passed and if you'll ask me if for whom am I doing things now, this is my answer, "I don't know. I still haven't answered that question."

Tags

Death, Depression, Family, Grief, Hurt, Pain

Meet the author

author avatar jenrose
An introvert who loves roses and reads classic novels

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Comments

author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
1st Feb 2015 (#)

Jenrose, I take a view those who have left us can bless us provided we prove worthy to receive their blessings - siva

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
1st Feb 2015 (#)

Sorry for the loss of your grandfather. Who will you work for is your question?? Answer is yourself, you are the master of your destiny and the way you do things is the way it shall be. He will always be family and your role-model for the rest of your being.
None the less is it 2008 or 2009, if it is the latter it is 5 years completed not 6.

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