Panic!

Kari Ann Fallon By Kari Ann Fallon, 3rd May 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/13aieq-_/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Diaries

While I am happy that I no longer get panic attacks, I was curious as to why. I decided to explore the reason why I think they stopped.

Alone and Panicking

Since I met my husband, Matt, my life has changed drastically. One of the ways it has changed is that I haven't had a panic attack since I met him. I am not entirely sure why, but I think the main reason is because I am not alone as often.

I used to live only with my mom, and she was gone a lot of time, even at night, once I got to be about 18. From the time I was about 14 our neighbors used to go away a lot and we would take care of their dog. My mom agreed to let me stay over there by myself and they didn't mind. A lot of times I would spend many nights in a row there. My mom was right next door, so I wasn't scared, and I really enjoyed being able to listen to music as loud as I wanted and have the freedom to go online and be creative however I wanted without interruptions.

While I really enjoyed the freedom of being alone, once I got to be about 18, and my mom would be gone to her boyfriend's house over night, I would get a lot of panic attacks at night. I loved staying up late, especially because my job required me to work until midnight or later some days. This meant that my panic attacks were sometimes really late, and when I would call my mom she wouldn't always come home, and occasionally she wouldn't answer right away. Granted I was 18, being alone at night still triggered panic attacks a lot. My panic attacks started way before that, but that was when they got much worse.

Now I am almost never alone, and when I am it is always during the day. I really enjoy being alone now, but if I were alone at night at this point I would probably still have panic attacks. Matt isn't the type of person to go out at night, and when he does I go with him. I never have to deal with being alone at night. While this doesn't completely explain why I haven't had any panic attacks since I met him, it does help to explain why I would have a significantly fewer amount.

Tags

Fear Of Death, Fears, Husband, Mother, Panic, Panic Attacks

Meet the author

author avatar Kari Ann Fallon
I enjoy writing of all kinds, but my favorite style is poetry. I love country music, so a lot of my poetry is lyrics. I have recently begun to write short fiction stories and personal stories.

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