Standing On Edge

Xanity Tchuss By Xanity Tchuss, 8th Feb 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Sexuality & Gender

When every Nerve and Neuron are excited the body can react in many ways. This was the strangest way that I have ever reacted to making love.

Meeting of the Minds and Rhythms

I loved him. He loved sex with me. He was a church going saint. I was a wild sex addict. The first time we got together we shared a motel room in a city halfway the driving difference between us.

We went to dinner on our first date. I remember seeing raw naked list in his eyes and it made me get moist. But I held his gaze and did not flinch I was not the kind of woman to be intimidated. What we talked about were basic facts about our lives. But the sexual tension grew between us. He had asked me before we met if I would go to a motel with him and swore nothing would happen. I didn't know until years later he took me to that motel to be alone with me where no one would know about our meeting. When I agreed it was time to go to the motel, we drove both of our vehicles and parked at the back of the motel. He had rented the room before we had met for dinner and when I walked in it was like walking into a romance novel. Candles outlining the room and drink glasses and ice and his favorite drink.Rum and coke. I could hear him preparing my drink from the bathroom where I was putting on thick pajamas thinking he would keep his promise and this would only be a sleepover not a night of making love. I came out and sat down on the king size bed and listened as the ice dropped tinkling in the glass. Then the opening of the coke and I could hear the fizz as he poured a little less than half a glass full, then I smelled the rum as he opened it and the strength of the aroma made me high. Then glug, glug, glug, he poured the rest of the glass full of rum. He handed me the drink noticed what I was wearing and made a comment on how wrapped and sealed those particular pajamas made me look. I heard him fix his drink, the tinkling of the ice, the fizz as he poured the glass three-quarters full of coke then the one small glug, of the rum splashing into the almost full glass. We drank to new friendships and we talked about our lives. And every time he fixed our drinks my instincts told me mine were stronger than his, but I didn't care. We got up into the bed laying face to face after we finished of the last of our drinks and he started to kiss me. His mouth was so beautiful and the touch of his lips to my skin made me burn with passion. I had been separated from my husband of 25 years for 6 months. It had been 25 years since another man took the liberty to touch me in such a provocative way. he took the backside of his fingers and touch my cheek softly sensually gliding up and down. the hunger rang out deep in me but I made sure he only got a small response, Then he played with my light blonde hair holding it towards the candlelight and saying it shined as if the light were being absorbed. He was a very handsome man His face was strong and his blues looked into mine and I could see hunger in him, too. As we talked we touched only each others faces and hair. His was almost gray but you could see that it had been dark brown once. I wanted him to make a move towards me because i was already excited enough that the moist spot in my panties had become soaked, But to my amazement he turned over and said goodnight. Just as he had promised he would.

It was January and the heat in the room was just too warm so I took off my pajama pants and just kept on the long pajama top.I lay there on the right side of the bed for a period of time that seemed to span hours. I thought the hunger he awakened in me would subside but the alcohol had fanned the flames. There was nothing to do except go to sleep but I wasn't going to spend a lonely night on my side of the bed. I curled up next to his back. A move I thought would bring peace to my mind and body. but as his heat mixed with mine I could fee the sexual creature within me begin to take over. She had been alone too long and she wanted to be held and touched. So I started sweetly and softly rubbing my hands up and down his back stopping in places to rub circles so that the rhythm would be more enticing. I touched his shoulders and down his strong muscular arms to the tips of his fingers that laid upon his hips. I snuggled closer knowing full well I wanted this man to make love to me, but he kept his promise and didn't make a move, just allowed me to enjoy myself with my exploration I then arched myself against him and put my had upon his chest. It was warm and furry with just the right amount of hair, My fingers trailed the line of hair down to his pajamas and then I stopped. She was taking over now, the sexual creature inside me, and she was so hungry and as she took over, my hand slid under his pajamas and my hand wrapped around a massive piece of manhood! It was so thick and as I rubbed it from tip to balls I knew it was over 10 inches. I almost screamed because I became one with my sexual creature and I knew I had to have him! ACHED to have him inside me! I don't remember how or when our clothes came off I remember I orgasmed as He pressed the large head of his manhood between my lips and entered me. I screamed for him to make love to me but he knew I was at his mercy and he dipped himself into my wetness until the hunger had rose so high that it turned into mania....

I threw him off of me unable to take the teasing anymore and threw him on his back and straddled him. I would do the teasing now! I grabbed his shoulders rocking slowly further down his cock until all of him was within me. I felt so complete and when I orgasmed it was so powerful it squirted out onto him wetting his belly and drenching his balls, but that was only the beginning for me. I started moving my hips rhythmically with his body finding a steady rhythm that I had never found before. My long blonde hair flew in my face obscuring the smile I knew he had on his face. The need pressed on and the rhythm got fevered and I orgasmed again squirting my juices all over his lower body, drenching the bed. I had never felt such passion and fevered intensity to want to please a man, but I wanted to do everything in my power to make him explode all up inside of me! We made love for over an hour me orgasming drenching everything in my juices, our fevered rocking rhythm taking me to heights that I had never reached before

Most women might have began to think they had med their soul mate but me, I had met my rival, and had met that challenge full steam ahead. I began to tremble uncontrollably my senses never being brought to such a fevered pitch, every neuron in side me was streaming full blast up and down my nervous system. But I kept on because this powerful man was holding back and I wasn't going to slow the rhythm down until I felt him tremble as he exploded inside of me pushing cum deep up into me! Then I scooted down his legs and started licking him clean tasting the mixture of our fluids. I took him in my mouth and heard a deep almost painful groan as I drained him of every drop of cum out of his vessel.

Then I lay on my side facing him completely satiated. And he turned his head towards me and said I dreamed of you and this night many years ago. I woke up feeling like I had lost someone and now I've found you. We spooned into each other and slept a deep peaceful sleep.

The Sun on My Face

When morning came we showered together and went and had breakfast. This new man in my life that I had only know three 3 months, had awakened a part of me I never knew. We talked small talk about how good our breakfast was and all the while in my head I was putting the night together piece by piece. He promised me he would not try to make me have sex with him and he hadn't made one physical move towards me. What he did do was challenge me to see if I could entice him to make love to me.

I thought about that after setting up another dinner date and kissing good-bye.Did I entice him and he joined in or did I really just take him? This new being this Sexual Creature that I had become, had come out knowing every need I had and had fulfilled each one to my own satisfaction. I would never be able to think of making love again without remembering him being the catalyst towards my own Sexual Revolution

Sitting in the car a cloud drifted by and the sun streamed out touching my face, I shivered when I thought of how he had touched my face the night before and I felt loved and cherished. We would be meeting again that evening and I hurried home to find the perfect outfit and set everything up to get ready that night. And then I climbed in my own empty queen size bed drifting back to sleep and having vivid dreams of the lovemaking the night before.

The Making of a Powerful Partnership...

Just seeing him again, waiting with the car door opened wetness came to my panties. It made me smile a secretive smile. He just looked at me and cocked his head to the side and laughed. Even his laugh could start the fire down in my tummy. We rode to dinner talking of what a great encounter we had shared the night before. I told him then no man had ever made me react that way, I apologized if he felt I was too aggressive and he assured me that was one of the many things of the night that was a really good way to begin our physical relationship.

As with our first date our dinner ended in a hotel with lighted candles and he had now added flowers and found a station on the radio that played soft swaying music that we both liked. I sat down on the bed, while he poured us wine. I know I looked shock when he brought out wine instead of rum and coke like the night before, but he laughed again and bubbles streamed through my heart at the sound of his laugh and I knew this man would be a part of the "forever me" the part he had awakened in me was melted into the solid core of my being.

We drank some wine and then it was his turn to be aggressive and the flames in my tummy engulfed me as he showed me his own Sexual Prowess. We arrived at the hotel at 8 p.m And we devoured each other for hours taking short breaks to rest or change positions and finally I was the one to say no more and pushed him away turned facing away from him and went immediately off to sleep, but i felt his warmth again and desired burned in me again and I became the aggressor again. I wasn't sure if this was happening in my mind or had we started making love all over again It was all so surreal!

tIs There Ever An End...

We dated for months, spending every weekend at my house. When he would pick me up, he would say "I love ya Babaygurl" and grab my had as if to say hang on for the ride! He not only took me to daring heights of passion but encouraged me to be wild and free with my love making some of the most vivid memories were of taking chances in public places once, in the foyer to my apartment complex two other times at public parks late in the night shielded by the car laying on a blanket.

Our sexual partnership grew stronger and stronger, but during the weeks even though we spoke in the morning and again at night for hours. Sharing our everyday lives with each other hopes and dreams, dreams mostly for our children, because we felt we the dream we had shared in the beginning with each other had become reality. We had a strong loving Sexual Partnership and I thought that meant he had fallen in love with his "Babaygurl".

Then The Paradigm Shifted...

He was a very good man. Very loving and very lost. He found part of himself with me but was seeking eternal confirmation and that can only be found in God. So on Saturday night's he would kiss me goodbye go home and go to sleep and get up for church in the morning. He encouraged me to try a church of his faith and I also went to Church on Sundays.

But instead of our believers relationship becoming part of this surreal Physical Relationship. They became polar opposites. He wanted me to attend church but not with him. Our Sexual Relationship became just a Physical Relationship and was never allowed to never manifest itself in the same place we had a Spiritual Relationship. This was very confusing and I just let it go as Long as we were able to be together and share our love I just knew everything would be alright, everything would be fine.

Nature, Nurture, and Neurons

My Sexual Creature was thriving. You might say I was being filled with the fountain of youth. Our lovemaking was great most of the time but there were nights it hit all time heights! My Nature was of a Sexual Creature that thrived on the pure joy sex could bring. It was Nurtured by the loving way my man could soothe worries and frowns away with just a word, smile, or touch, But My Neurons were working overtime every time we made love the pure power of release from the multi-orgasms, the sheer power of squirting my juices soaking everything and then laying shaking and trembling from head to toe, beside this man that I love!

Then a night came when we had been separated from each other for more than two weeks. I stayed turned on constantly! Even though his work kept him away we talked to each other as usual in the morning to greet the day together but at night the hours were filled with ecstasy. We would talk about our days then, we would talk about missing each other then that led to talking of our days and nights together. His voice sounded so smooth and gentle as he talked to me the first time he made me squirt without any physical touch just using his voice and remembering the things he was whispering to me, I knew he had me. I thought I was the aggressor but in truth his aggression was slowly, stealthily rising taking my mind and body under his control.

The night he came home I planned on doing all of his favorite things. First he wanted a home cooked meal and since he loved my spaghetti I made it for him with his favorite garlic cheese bread. We shared some wine and then I got into the nighty he loved me to wear for him., I bought the nighty for Valentine's Day and it had since been his favorite. It was short, red and silky with black lace around the bust line. We lay together him nude, me in the nighty, and I began to massage his body as I straddled his hips he knew I had no panties on and even said he could feel the heat from my body flowing down and out from underneath the nighty. I massaged his chest all the way down to his throbbing favorite place! And then I started gently rubbing that vessel with a sweet tasting oil encouraging him with up and down strokes for him to get as long and hard as he could get. Then I cupped his balls in my hand and poured more oil onto them wetting them down, playing with them with my tongue taking and flicking his his balls til they got tighter and tighter. I was wet by then pleasing him had pleasured me and I had already started with orgasm after orgasm and then I kissed the head of his massive cock and opened my mouth going all the way down to deep in my throat where he loved to be and then I slowly sucked and pulled backwards enjoying the sweet tasting oil as it slid into my mouth. I heard my favorite groan come from him, the groan that signifies the pleasure has almost become pain. And I gave him head, sucking and pullling and pushing at times to the farthest part of my throat And I gave him his very favorite thing when I felt the shaft start to pulse and I knew his delicious cream would be coming I pushed him to the back of my mouth and let him come straight into the back of my throat! And there was that groan again and i felt his hand wrapped in my hair tugging to contain himself from calling out so loud the neighbors might hear his cry of passion.then I slipped forward and rubbed the oil around my large brown nipples and as I leaned forward for him to finally taste the oil i gently slid that massive cock up inside me. I took all of him and the pleasure to pain groan came from deep within me as he bottomed out i orgasm and the sweet smell of my juice mingled with the sweet oil and the aroma of it turned me on even more and then I began to ride him. Slow and rhythmic and then his hips caught my rhythm and there was more power to the rhythm and I turned and rode him backwards coming so hard and so long that I arched my back so far backwards my head lay upon his chest. It was his turn to be the aggressor and he grabbed my breasts on in each hand and while I lay with my back upon his chested he would enter me and then totally withdraw himself teasing me with the feeling of connection and disconnection until from way down deep a guttural sound came out of me and I flipped and started riding him hard, fast, and deep. The intensity of our bodies moving at that speed and that hard and that deep created and electrical surge that went out to every one of the nerve endings in my body my mind closed down. All I kept thinking is get away, get away, and in the middle of a stroke I stood straight up in the bed and orgasm and as it flowed down my legs I tried to catch my breath and he was saying are you, okay? But it came from far away because i was on some new level of pleasure I had never been on before! But slowly things became clear again and I breathed that yes I was okay and i lay beside him feeling totally fluid as if I were a puddle and he gathered me into his arms and said "I love You, Babaygurl"

I knew that very moment I was addicted to him and as every addict will tell you sooner or later you hit rock bottom. I was at the heights of ecstasy when the downward spiral hit.

Divorce, Marriage, Sex and Addiction

We were doomed from the beginning. He had been through a very bad marriage and had divorced He always felt guilt because of that. He said he would never remarry because He didn't think God's Law worked that way. I was separated so still legally married, all we were ever going to be together was in the end Sex Partners. Addiction is not love.

We see each other every few months and he always plays his trump card and uses my addiction to him to get me to do whatever he wants. We have been sexually intimate in an abandoned parking lot late at night a couple of times.

Our relationship was Impassioned from beginning to end in every aspect. He said I liked Drama too much, I just told him to stop giving me the scripts....


Sex, Sex Life, Sexual

Meet the author

author avatar Xanity Tchuss
Abused sexually as a child, I lived not knowing pleasures that a normal sexuality could bring, After years of Intense Therapy and Psychiatric Medications, I sought out my own sexual journey.

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