Teenage Heartache

Carol By Carol, 24th Aug 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Short Stories

A young girl rebels against her family. She is adopted, and needs to reconcile her feelings about this. Will she find her true blood relations?

Teenage Heartache

I’ve always known, ever since I could remember, that I was adopted. In the past it had not been a big deal for me. Mum had told me I was a very special baby.. ” Dad and I chose you. We couldn’t have a baby of our own, but when we saw you at the hospital, we fell in love with you straight away!” She had hugged me warmly when she said these words, and I felt proud and important.

I had even told my friends at school, who were quite envious. Clare, my best friend had remarked. ” You’re so lucky. My mum says sometimes she wishes I had never been born!”

So I had gone along happily for years. They were Mum and Dad, they had brought me up, but now I was fourteen, and they treated me differently, and I didn’t like the change.

Nothing I ever did seemed to be right. They were always nagging me to do my homework, even though I told them my friends were allowed to watch TV after a hard day at school. Why couldn’t I do it on the bus on the way to school?

” You’ve got to get good grades at school to get a decent job.” Dad kept reminding me. As if I didn’t know! He was only echoing what old Frosty ( Miss Frostup) to everyone else, had said.

Boys were becoming more interesting to me. There was Jimmy down the road, who looked very much like Gareth from Pop Idol. He had smiled at me, and I decided to make myself look more grown up for the next time he saw me. He was in the class above me at school, very mature, with his limpid brown eyes, and very dark hair, which he continually pushed out of his eyes, and a smile to die for!

Mum was a bit more lenient than Dad about what I wore. He was just a nightmare! I took the opportunity at half term to ring up Clare to make arrangements. My homework could wait!

” Can I come round today for a make-over? You’re so good at transforming me!”

Clare’s mum was at work, so the house was free. Her parents seemed to turn a blind eye to some of her styles and fads. She was so lucky. I wish mine would too.

” This is for Jimmy, I take it. After I’ve done it, we’ll go and hang about near to the shop where he works, and then he’ll see you” She giggled understandingly. I like Clare. She’s always ready for anything, a real good friend. ” Thanks, I’ll be round shortly.” I told her gratefully

CLARE'S LIFE SEEMS BETTER THAN MINE


I felt a twinge of guilt when I came off the ‘phone. Mum wasn’t at work today, and she had asked if I wanted to go shopping, and out for lunch. She had offered to help me choose something new that I would like, and so would Dad. At the time it had seemed a good idea, but now I had something far more interesting to fill my time. I squashed down any feelings of guilt by reminding myself just how old fashioned their ideas about clothes were, minis were out, so were low cut tops. I didn’t want to be the laughing stock of all my friends. Didn’t they realise I was now fourteen?

” Sarah, are you getting ready? We need to get going soon.”

I grimaced. Why was Mum so selfish? Why couldn’t I have a life of my own? Clare’s mother didn’t drag her round the shops.

” I’m going to Clare’s. She needs help with her homework.”

The lie came easily to my lips. It was a good get-out, but I noticed her look of disappointment. I didn’t allow it to affect me.

” I see. So you’d rather not come out. Can’t you go over there later? We won’t be out all day.”

I saw red. If we went out later, I wouldn’t be hanging around at lunch time. I would miss Jimmy, and that would never do. My mother was trying to wreck my life! My voice was harsh and angry.

” I don’t want any new clothes. You and Dad are just not with it. I’d rather go without!”

That was pretty dramatic from me. Who was I trying to kid? My wardrobe consisted of tatty jeans, and jogging suits. I wanted tight slinky tops, some trendy trousers, and a mini skirt. I had boobs now, so why shouldn’t I show them off?

I saw the pain in her eyes, and her struggle for self control. Dad had asked me to be kind to her, as she was having a bad menopause, but what about me? I had all sorts of things happening to my body, sometimes I felt elated, and sometimes very depressed, it was something I had no control over. Did no-one care about me? Hormones were strange things. They seemed to rule me at times.

” I really miss our shopping trips.” she said sadly. ” But maybe another time………”

Why did I feel guilty? I was entitled to see my best friend. My voice lashed out.

WHY DOESN'T MUM UNDERSTAND ME?


” I am fourteen, and I want to be with my own friends, not with old people!”

I regretted it as soon as I had said it. Mum wasn’t exactly in her dotage, nor Dad, but there was no way back now. At forty eight, her hair was still shiny and blonde, and her face unmarked by the ravages of time. I had hit her where it hurt most, but I didn’t feel satisfaction.

She went silent on me, which is worse than being nagged sometimes, so I took the opportunity to make my escape, and whilst I walked to Sarah’s house, I thought. for the first time, about my real parents. They would have understood me. They had the same blood.

I felt resentment towards my mother and father for the first time. They had come along and taken me, and then expected me to fit in with their way of life. Maybe my real parents would have been different. Sharing the same genes would make a difference.

For the first time in my life, I felt curious to know about myself. Did I look like my mother? Was she tall and blonde with blue eyes? Was she good at swimming like I was? Or was it my Dad I took after? How could I trace them and meet up? I decided to discuss it with Clare. She always seemed very knowledgeable about life.

Clare really went to town on me today. I had a complete facial, and she did my hair.

” It’s such a lovely colour, ash blonde.” she said admiringly. I felt good. ” With your heart shaped face , and tiny nose, you can just wear it loose and straight.”

” You should be a hairdresser.” I said, as she worked on me.

” I hope to one day.” she said, putting down the hairbrush. ” There you are, and now for the make-up.”

My envy of Clare grew. She was so cool! She wasn’t that bright at school, so no-one would be pushing her to go to University when she was older. Why couldn’t my family be like that?

When she had finished doing my make-up, I could scarcely recognise myself. I had lots of eye make-up on, very deep blue eye shadow, lots of mascara, and she had painted my lips a very bright pink to accentuate them. I looked and felt much older.

” What can I wear?” I wailed in exasperation. ” Jimmy will not be impressed with these jogging trousers.”

WHAT CAN I WEAR FOR JIMMY?


Clare raised her eyebrows. ” I’ll lend you something.” she said airily, sorting me out a skimpy top in bright pink that would just about hold my boobs in, and showed off my midriff, and some black velvet trousers, so tight that I could only just move in them.

” Why don’t you have your stomach pierced like me? It’s the in thing.”

I felt resentment flare inside me again. Why did Clare have such reasonable parents? It must be because they were her own flesh and blood. I couldn’t resist saying.

” Your parents are brill. They don’t mind what you do.”

Clare grimaced. ” That’s not quite right. They’re so busy with their arguments, and threats of divorce, they forget all about me. I’d rather have parents like yours, always there for you, and so caring. Mine have forgotten I exist!

I couldn’t believe I was hearing this. Self assured Clare, who I had always looked up to was unhappy. She had hidden it well, or had I been so wrapped up in myself, that I had never noticed? Maybe she did all this outrageous stuff to get some attention. How awful ! But I didn’t need to, I was loved.

” I had no idea about your parents. I’m sorry.” I said gently, and then to my amazement, cool sophisticated Clare was in tears.

” Mum wants to sell the house and move to London. She wants me to go with her. and I’ll miss Dad. I’m so worried about them I can’t do my school work, and I know I won’t pass my exams.”

I felt awful, suddenly our roles were reversed. Losing my best friend would not be nice, but it was far worse for her than for me.

” Tell your mother how all the fighting is hurting you. Don’t suffer in silence. If they do split up, ask if you can spend time with both of them. I’ll always be your friend, no matter where you live!”

She brightened up a little, mopping her eyes with a tissue. ” Thanks for listening Sarah. You’re the only person I’ve told.”

I looked once again in the mirror, but going down the road to see Jimmy seemed to be losing its appeal. All I could see staring back at me, if I cared to admit it, was an over made up face, and I was wearing clothes that were too small,and too tight. I wanted to grow up gracefully,

SUDDENLY I DIDN'T LIKE WHAT I SAW


I took the cowards way out. ” I’m sorry Clare, I might have a cold coming. I think I’ll go home and forget seeing Jimmy today, but thanks for all your efforts.”

Clare didn’t look too disappointed. I returned her clothes, and she hugged me as I left.

” Your secret is safe with me. ” I promised her, wondering how she must feel inside. Poor Clare. It made me realise how great my life was. The only complication in it was me, and the way I felt sometimes.

On the way home I thought about things. Clare was with her real parents, but her life wasn’t happy. It seemed that being happy as a family wasn’t about being with your biological parents. it was about getting on with whoever you lived with. My parents loved each other, they always had, and I had always felt very secure.

Maybe if I tried harder with Mum, knowing she was feeling as yukky as I was sometimes, we could get on well like we used to. Dad was right to not want me to dress up and use such glaring make-up. There were plenty of Jimmys around, and when I was ready to go out with boys, I would be very choosy. I wanted someone special like Dad.

The house was empty when I got in. I washed the heavy make-up off my face, my skin glowed through, and my lips looked natural. I didn’t really need it. I had been told so many times how good my skin was.

It was one o’clock, and I knew where Mum would be, in the cosy little teashop where we always went. If I hurried, I could be there in ten minutes, and give her a surprise. If we put our heads together, between us, we could find something for me that Dad liked. Mum’s face would light up when she saw me. I knew without a shadow of doubt, that I was as precious to them, as they were to me

Tags

Adopted, Boys Makeup, Friend, Menopause, Mini Skirt, Misunderstood, Mother, Teenager

Meet the author

author avatar Carol
I am a proud mother and grandmother, and an author. I have had 7 books published. My hobbies are walking, swimming, and playing badminton. I try to raise more awareness of autism with my writing.

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Comments

author avatar Maria Papadopoulou
24th Aug 2010 (#)

I enjoyed that.

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author avatar Retired
24th Aug 2010 (#)

lovely just lovely...

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author avatar La Verne
25th Aug 2010 (#)

a nice reminder ...:)

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