The 4-A's

Ellen By Ellen, 8th Aug 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Society & Issues

There are four different things that we have all dealt with at one time or another, or we know of someone who has dealt with the four different things. How we deal with any of them shows our character and our moral values.

The 4-A's

Abuse is the first A that many people have had to deal with. Abuse can be physical or it can be mental. Some people who abuse others know exactly what they are doing and think it is fun to see another person being hurt. Other people will abuse others because they like to show that they are in control and some people abuse others because they are sick and are not able to stop themselves. Only a doctor can diagnosis which category the abuser is in. Some people feel that mental abuse is worse then physical abuse. The physical abuse can usually heal after so many days or weeks if the person being abused is not killed while being abused. The mental abuse stays with a person for years even after the person being abused manages to escape the abuser. A person may be able to force the abuse back into their mind, but every now and then something or someone without realizing it will bring the abuse back up to the surface. Some people are able to control their thoughts and continue on with their lives, but there are others who have to have therapy for many years. The one abuse that is terrible is the abuse of animals who have no voice and need people to step in and help them get away from the abuser. This is the same for babies or small children, when they are being abused do not turn a deaf ear or a blind eye, get on the telephone and call for help even if it is someone you love who is doing the abusing. If you do not do anything then you are just as guilty as the person doing the abusing. Either abuse whether it be physical or mental both are not easy to overcome, but the first step is to get away from the abuser and let that person know that you have taken your power back.

Abortion is a big debate and conflict between religious groups, political groups and ordinary neighbors. Abortion has been with us for many, many years and we still do not seem to have an answer or solution to the problem. Some people think that we should control it with abstinence, or take birth control pills or patches, but what about incest, rape or molestation? Should a girl of age 15 be forced to go through a pregnancy and be constantly reminded of what happened to her? Or should she get an abortion and be left with that memory? She cannot understand the consequences of either choice and being a minor how will her parents help her with the decision? Will the person who impregnated her be brought to justice? What if the person is a relative, someone the family trusted and they do not believe her? Will the family force their daughter to leave because they are ashamed of what has happened to her, but they forget that the act was done to her. There are many questions and some people seem to think they have the answers to all of them, but each case is different and has to be dealt with in a different way. We need to stop judging the girls who have abortions, we do not know the circumstances or their situation. It is a shame that we force girls to have to even think about having an abortion and after the abortion is over they have to live with that act for the rest of their lives. Forgiveness has to start somewhere, support for these girls has to come from somewhere, so that the last thing they think about doing is getting an abortion. When a young girl cannot go through with the abortion the next thing they decide to do refers to the third A.

We read or hear about a baby or animals being abandoned under a car, in the trash, in a ditch right after being born and by some miracle many of the babies are found and taken to a nearby hospital for care. When these girls do not receive the help and support that they desperately need it is obvious that they are not thinking straight and making some very bad choices. All they are thinking about is that they have to get their lives back on track again. They have to get back to school, so they can get their education and be able to have a life and be able to go out with friends. All they know is that this little crying baby is stopping them from doing what they want to do. They are not capable at that time in their lives to think any further then just that moment. As they walk away from the birth of their baby they have just abandoned they just wander around until they finally go home and just feel numb. They do not think about going to a hospital or a church to have the baby and to give the baby up, because they feel they would be judged no matter what decision they finally decide to make.

The girl who does have her baby at a hospital is given a choice whether to keep her baby or to give her baby up for adoption. This is also a very difficult choice to make. The girl may feel that she is ready to raise her baby and there are people or family members who will constantly tell her that she is a child herself and has no idea how to raise a baby. Some girls are lucky and the family will step to help with raising the baby and the financial, spiritual and physical aspects of raising a baby. There is now what is called shared adoption where the parents who adopt the baby keep in touch with the biological mother. This seems like the best solution for everyone involved. When the right couple can be found to adopt the baby and the biological mother is able to keep in contact with her baby, they all share in the raising of the baby. It is not without problems, however all the people involved in the open adoption need to be mature enough to help make it work.

Out of the 4-A's abuse, abandonment, abortion and adoption there is only one positive A, but we seem to focus more on the other three A-s especially abortion. Maybe it is time that we start focusing more on adoption, so that these girls do not have to consider an abortion at all.


Accusations, Animals, Children, Choices, Decisions, Elderly, Pregnancy, Religion, Teenagers, Worry

Meet the author

author avatar Ellen
I write children's stories. Have one book published, Working on another children's book. It is a series.

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author avatar mkmalls15
8th Aug 2013 (#)

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author avatar C. Montezuma
8th Aug 2013 (#)

Amen sister! It is so sad that we even have to make these decisions at all. I pray for these girls to find a solution that they can live with - even if they need help to do so.

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author avatar Ellen
8th Aug 2013 (#)

I totally agree, I am sure they appreciate your prayers, I know I do.

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