The Adventures Of Officer Will I. Ketchum-Prisoners Can Be Funny!

Chip GreeneStarred Page By Chip Greene, 18th Nov 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/ndwymv3w/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Short Stories

The case of one drunk prisoner who made everybody laugh. Cops get to laugh a lot!

The show!

Far too often people incarcerated in the lockup in Anywhere, USA put on a show. Alcohol is usually involved. Here is one show that was put on by a prisoner that Will was lucky enough to witness.

A funny place

The only female officer on the department came in with a drunk driving arrest one night. The drunk was belligerent when he was brought in to be booked. In such cases there are usually 3 to 4 officers present at the booking desk. The booking sergeant stands behind a high, long desk with the prisoner on the other side facing him. The arresting officer stands back behind the prisoner. There are usually two other officers standing off to either side of the prisoner in case there is any trouble. This particular guy was obviously drunk and pissed off. So, that's how this booking was set up.

At the booking desk

He was very uncooperative with the sergeant. First, he was searched by the arresting officer. Then he was uncuffed. The sergeant told him to empty his pockets and take off all of his jewelry. He did so slamming all of the items on top of the booking desk. The sergeant inventoried it all and began to ask routine booking questions, (name, date of birth, address, etc.) It took a while with this guy because he became sarcastic in answering the questions. He refused the breathalyzer test.

"How's that?!"

Then he was asked to take off his shoes. His shoes had long laces in them. Some inebriated prisoners have been known to use these to harm themselves or the police officers. This guy refused so, the sergeant told him we'd remove them by force if necessary. The drunk lost it! He began tearing at his clothes and taking them off. He wailed, "If you want my shoes then you can have it all!" First, his shirt came off. He threw that into the air. Then he took his shoes off almost falling on his ass in the process. He threw them over his shoulder. Then off came his pants. He tossed them at the sergeant. He wasn't done yet! Lastly, he shimmied his underpants down to his ankles and kicked them aside. Then he stood there defiantly staring at the sergeant. He yelled, "How's that?" Will and the other officers were laughing at this point. The guy had forgotten to take off his socks. He also must've forgotten the female officer standing behind him. She was laughing the hardest. The sergeant gave the high sign so, Will and the other male officer in attendance strong-armed the guy and gave him the bum's rush into a nearby cell.

No blanket for you

That's how he spent the rest of the night in Anywhere, USA, with just his socks to keep him warm. The only other things in the cell were a toilet with no lid and no water in it and a wooden slab to sleep on. Will removed the blanket from the cell less the drunk damage it.

Photo credits

Prison bars
bjpa.org

Booking desk
plymouthpolice.com

Booking
wn.com

Naked prisoner
gayside1.com

In the cell
isucceedbook.com

Tags

Cells, Drunks, Female Officers, Naked, Police, Prisoners

Meet the author

author avatar Chip Greene
I am a retired police officer, baseball enthusiast, political junkie, and published writer.
My articles will focus on crime, politics, and baseball.

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Comments

author avatar WOGIAM
19th Nov 2014 (#)

Lol, that must have been one drunk and cold man. Silly billy, i hope he learnt his lesson and stays away from the bottle in future.

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author avatar tafmona
19th Nov 2014 (#)

thanks for this information good friend

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