The Birthday Party 2011 - A Humorous Poem-

blackangelwings By blackangelwings, 3rd Jan 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

A Birthday Party To Remember, some parties are not for the faint hearted (thankgoodness!)

The Birthday Party 2011 - A Funny Poem-

It was his Birthday, I thought a party a good cause
Until I came home and in the street I did pause
As a streaker ran past to a round of applause
I feared the worst as I headed indoors.

Rubbish lay strewn all over the place
My kitchen knee deep in cans, an utter disgrace
Worse was to come when I spotted my face
Some one had added horns, a new Banksy in place

Dreaded loud music then assaulted my ears
When I entered the lounge I met my worst fears
Instead of dancing to that rave music fad
Scantily dressed neighbours were behaving decidedly bad.

That quiet girl from next door, wasn't so prim after-all
She jumped up rather quick, looking wide-eyed and sick
Introducing herself she braisoned it out
She'll not be left on the shelf of that I've no doubt!

I reached for the main light to improve my darkened view
But then came further gasps at seeing human biology anew!
Who is that lad, naked as the day he was born?
'Oh no' it's the paperboy who cycles across our lawn.

Hardly awake, he waved for politeness sake
The writing on his forehead had an obvious spelling mistake
As people moved like entwined snakes
I removed myself, the only modest option to take.

I'm not sure who was blushing more
Me or the girl I recognised from the Fair-trade stall
Her father's the local Vicar you see
He'll be doing more than preaching after a visit from me.

The conservatory was on my list next
When I looked at the windows I turned rather vexed
You see some bright spark had found the spray cream
And 'HAVE A NICE DAY' was dripping down like pink Windowleen.

Popping streamers lay all over the place
Party food stamped into my carpet showed bad grace
But what had my temper far from abating
Was my big knickers on the ceiling fan, slowly rotating!

The hunt was on for the main culprit next
My son would be paying in Old Testament text
I heard a noise from the toilet so loud
It would have made Orca the whale proud

Yes it was my darling son
Too sick to notice I'd come home and spoilt the fun
He looked so ill a dark shade of grey
An early hangover showing him the error of his ways

I walked exhausted into my bedroom to recover
Who did I see but my newly divorced mother with a lover
Upon the piles of coats they lay
Her new fake tan wholly on display!

'Oh sorry I can explain' said the look upon her face
But I just looked on in stunned and utter disgrace
Then I saw to my horror and wished for some mistake
This muscle man was the window cleaner, new to our estate.

Well he can jolly well take us off his round
As it's obvious it's not just dirty windows in our house he's found!

So it's with a heavy heart, the cleaning up I must now start
Unhappy it's true to say, all this happened when I was just two streets away
The truth, my friends rival party was a world apart
Just standing sedate, surrounded by boring old farts

Now I realise I made the wrong call
Falling from grace is more fun than not falling at all
For the rest of the year my celebrations will be a riotous ball
Making fun family memories we'll all be happy to recall.


Behaviour, Birthday, Coming Of Age, Drink, Family Relationships, Parent, Party, Party Goers, Teenager

Meet the author

author avatar blackangelwings
Hi, I have lived all my life in the beautiful county of Gloucestershire in England. I love to write especially poems. I write for fun and to relax but some of my subjects may seem dark. I seem to have the ability to write down and share ideas about ...(more)

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author avatar Denise O
4th Jan 2011 (#)

Every parents nightmare for sure. I am so glad I never walked in on anything like that.
Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar blackangelwings
5th Jan 2011 (#)

me too! this poem was fun to write though. thanks for reading. love and light.

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