The Coming Home From School Rule

Deborah Judges By Deborah Judges, 7th Mar 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Diaries

My child is constantly coming home from school with some ailment. I being her mother, don't want her to be at school if she isn't feeling good. But Her Daddy said enough is enough and made a rule about when I could check her out and when she needed to stay in school.

Miracle Child

My daughter is a "miracle baby" I had three miscarriages in my twenties and went through infertility treatment with no results. I prayed for a child for the first fifteen years of my marriage. Then one day I had a pain in my right side and since I was always hopeful I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive and because of the three miscarriages before and the sharp pain in my side my husband, and I rushed to the hospital. I was indeed pregnant. The baby already had a heartbeat I was only a month along.but the doctor took some blood tests and said the pregnancy was showing all the right levels or hormones and he felt with bed rest I could carry the baby to term. I had a lot of bed rest and a messy house but I was going to have a baby. The realization that I was truly going to be able to carry my daughter full term was when I felt her first kick on December 24, 1998. It was a sign from God for me that I would indeed have this child. I carried her almost full term she had to come early due to complications, but it was only two weeks and although small at six pounds,six ounces she was perfect in every way.

Intelligent Child

My daughter grew strong and fast and reached milestones of development ahead of most children, She was a perfect child and since I was a new Mom I of course thought she was the smartest child ever. I read her a story book every night and she had one that was her favorite. One day at two years old she asked if she could "read" it to me. I was happy she had a love for books and reading and said yes, of course. My child took her favorite book and started reading the Title and author like I always did to her then she read the book! I knew she knew the alphabet and numbers, and colors, but reading a book at two amazed me.

Going to School

Because of a head injury from hitting a table running out of a restaurant she had been wearing glasses since she was two and when she went for her first day of Kindergarten she cleaned her glasses got out of the car and told me "Bye, Mama" I told her I would help her to her room since it was a big school but, she said she knew where it was from the open house, where teachers and parents acclimated their child with the school. So she popped out of the car and went into the school. My mind was all a stir! I had to know she made it to the classroom so I parked the car and went to the door window and saw her sitting there like a little college student. I knew she was fine and that she would love school.

How Our Separation hurt our child.

I have mental health diagnoses for different illnesses and at about the age when my daughter was 8 I could no longer function. I was on 7 different Medications and 2 were anti-psychotics. I was dealing with Postpartum Psychosis. I was suicidal and would cut myself to make the mental pain go away and just focus on the physical pain. All this had been happening since I was diagnosed with postpartum depression at my 6 week check up after she was born. My daughter never saw me do anything to myself and didn't know anything about the multiple hospital stays due to suicidal thoughts. She did know I was on medication "so that Mommy's brain could work in the right way" so the hospital trips were called medication adjustments.
But then one day I realized she was starting to know that my brain was very different from other people's. I had endeavored to and created the perfect the perfect Mommy Persona, but I knew I had to leave her before she was able to see the depth of my illness. So I went to school and became a Nurse's Assistant. I got a job right away because my grades were perfect. And then we told her I was moving out. But everything would work out. I moved out and into a 3 bedroom apartment in government housing. They gave me the three bedroom so me and my daughter could get into our own home as soon as possible, but there was a clause that said if a family that needed a three bedroom came on the list I would give up my apartment for a smaller one. We lived there two years when that scenario happened, it just so happened that when I could no longer work and had applied for disability that very thing happened I was told we would have to move. But I was not given a choice to get a two bedroom they put me and my ten year old daughter in disability housing that only had one bedroom.
During this period of two years my daughter lost her edge on her learning ability. She came home consistently with bad grades even in the area of reading which was her true learning edge. We were very peaceful with our separation and neither one of us has ever been abusive in any way and we are best friends. But the separation of her family destroyed her love of learning and she hated school. She played sports until she was in 8th grade then she even stopped that. She had been injured with broken bones 7 different times in the small time she played sports.

Cell Phone

She got a cell phone at age 10 when she was playing sports in case her practice was going to be cut short or if she got lost she could call us. In middle school 4th,5th, 6th, 7th and 8th grades. She became sickly. And if the nurse wouldn't send her home and she felt bad she would text me to come get her. Every time I picked her up I took her to her pediatrician who then confirmed a sinus, throat, or ear infection. It was always true that she was sick. In 8ith grade more health problems came with the hormones changing in her body, She had been absent so much that if she were to be absent once more we would have to go before the school board and explain all of the absences even though they had doctor's school excuses for almost every one of them. We made it through the year and even with all the absences her grades were steady so they didn't hold her back.

High School

When she became a freshman at high school she made it onto the cheerleading team and was excited about the year. She told us this year she was going to try not to miss any school unless it was absolutely necessary. But here we are at the second half gf the year and she has been absent more times than any other. She always texted me and told me what ailment she had and I would go get her.but this year it was for things we didn't need to go to the doctor to have them check her out. She has many doctors excuses and 5 parent notes and you are only allowed 9 parent notes.

New Rule

The new rule was simply than asking me, who shielded my miracle child, she now had to text her dad then he would contact me if she needed to be picked up or not. She texted him today and said she thought she had a stomach virus could she came home he was at first adamant that she stay in school because her grades were very low from all the grades on the work she already had already missed but I did get the call to go picked her up. So I went to pick her up and she told me she had a stomach virus. I was worried that she was faking it until an hour after wee got home it hit me. She had said it had been going around school. I'm glad I went and brought her home because it is a most miserable feeling, a hurting stomach, nausea, and frequent trips to the bathroom. So again she has missed school and again she really is sick.

Her Love of Learning is Gone

She has always been prone to ear throat and sinus infections but she has always rallied and went back to school and brought her grades back to where they belong. I tried to leave so my mental illness wouldn't harm her psyche, but it was the separation of family that led her to losing her love of learning. She hates school right now. And her grades are down because of all the missed days and make-up work that still has to be done. But before the separation she would beg to go to school and now she wants to stay home everyday. She is an extremely intelligent girl and I know she will work this problem through and finally begin to enjoy learning again.


Contagious, Homework, School, Sickly, Virus

Meet the author

author avatar Deborah Judges
I I have kept Journals on and off for 38 years. Sometimes the words. thoughts and feelings fly from my mind to the page; just streaming through my fingers.

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