The Fifth Reason

Phyl CampbellStarred Page By Phyl Campbell, 5th Jul 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>General Fiction

So many reasons, so little time! Come see Charlie and Jane, an established couple who are trying to spice up their tired old married life!

25 Reasons Why Charlie Should Never Read Jane's Books to Jane

Where it all started:
Jane and Charlie have been married a long time. For Jane, it seems interminable. She hoped that by leaving some of her favorite novels around, Charlie, who shares her love of reading, might pick one up and learn something to help add spice to their relationship. When he didn't take that bait, she let him know that she'd put the books out, marked some favorite passages, and labeled each with what she'd wear -- or remove -- as he read to her. Sadly, the theory was better than what was carried out.

Did you miss a reason?

Don't fret. You can catch the first four reasons by following the links here!
The First Reason (Reading in Bed)
The Second Reason (Maybe I've Got it On Backwards)
The Third Reason (Pop Up Porn)
The Fourth Reason (Sexual Congress)

The Fifth Reason - Early to Bed, Early to Rise

"It says, 'He looked deep into her amber eyes and said "I want to watch you when I do this to you.""" Charlie quoted.
"That doesn't mean we have to," Jane said.
"Hey, this was your idea. I just think if we're doing it, we should do it right."
Charlie shifted his weight, which caused Jane first to groan, then to yelp.
"Hey -- watch those knees! I can't get out of your way when you're on top of me."
"This would be a whole lot easier if we were younger."
"No kidding."
"And in better shape."
"Ugh! Don't remind me."
"Hey -- at least you get time to work out."
"You didn't birth a baby."
"When is that excuse going to get old?"
"When it stops being true -- hey -- watch it!"
"I can't help it. I'm old and decrepit."
Jane tried to shove Charlie into a position that would cause her less pain.
"No, no, no!" Charlie insisted. "I web-searched this. You're supposed to have one leg up and then --"
"Ow! Charlie -- my leg does not go that way naturally! Charlie! Stop it!"
"Fine." Charlie accepted Jane's shoving and rolled off.
"You don't have to go all the way away. We could just cuddle for a bit or something." Jane suggested.
"You say that. Then I'm going to come over there and nature will take its course and then you're going to get mad."
"Well, then you lay on your back and I'll spoon you from the side."
"Yay." Charlie dead-panned. "I can't wait." But he lay on his back anyway, and Jane sidled up next to him. She ran her fingers up and down his belly.
"Hey, if I can't play like that, why can you?" He asked.
"Because you like it when I break the rules." Jane said. "Besides, when you do it, it tickles. And not in a sexy way."
"My tickling is not sexy?" Charlie fake-pouted. This was familiar territory.
"Not at all." Jane smirked, never ending the movement of her fingers as they played from belly to chest and back again.
"Do I do anything that's sexy?" Charlie asked.
"Well, sometimes you only snore lightly."
"My snoring is sexy?"
"Only the light snoring. The lumberjack snoring does nothing for me."
Charlie closed his eyes and pretended to demonstrate.
"Yep. That definitely does not get my motor running."
In his fake sleep, Charlie rolled back on top of Jane, continuing to snore loudly.
"Ugh! Get off! Stay on your side."
"Need my Lovey." Charlie pretended to talk in his sleep.
Jane elbowed him hard. "Get your own Lovey."
Charlie opened his eyes. "I did get my own Lovey. I married my Lovey."
"Oh, Charlie. You say such sweet things."
"I love you, Jane."
"I love you, too, Charlie."
They were quiet for a minute -- just long enough for something to happen that made Jane break the silence.
"You're ready to go again?"
"What can I say? I've got my Lovey and I'm happy."
"'Lovey?' Is that a technical term?" Jane asked.
"Are you sure about that?"
"As sure as I need to be. Come here, Lovey." Charlie pulled Jane close to him. She didn't protest.
"Let's see what your silly romance novel has to say about this move..."
And this is the fifth reason why Charlie should never read Jane's books to Jane.

Photo Credits

Credit for the following images belongs to MorgueFile: -- book interior -- eye of love art - nude statues


Don't forget to leave me a comment -- positive, constructive, scandalous -- I want the finished 25 Reasons to be as good as it can be, and your feedback helps me accomplish that.
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25 Reasons, Charlie, Jane, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexual Activity, Sexual Attraction, Sexual Behavior, Sexual Desire, Sexual Experience, Sexual Health, Sexual Intercourse, Sexual Life

Meet the author

author avatar Phyl Campbell
I am "Author, Mother, Dreamer." I am also teacher, friend, Dr. Pepper addict, night-owl. Visit my website -- -- or the "Phyl Campbell Author Page" on Facebook.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
6th Jul 2013 (#)

Thank you, Mark! Yippee!

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
7th Jul 2013 (#)

well Phyl you did it again...a smooth piece well deserving the star...

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
7th Jul 2013 (#)

Thanks, Carolina!

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author avatar LOVERME
26th Sep 2013 (#)

well u r a STARRER all through ..
but why don't many comment for u ?
I thought I was all alone

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