The Final Memory

Empress By Empress, 4th May 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/l7-vpm7i/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Narrative

I've finally been able to put pen to paper and get some of the memories, emotions out from things in my past. Stories that play through my head in the dark of night, things that pop into mind when certain music plays or a scent drifts through the air. This is just merely one of them.

Driving

We are driving down the highway. It's dark and very late, quiet in the van, save for the music. Bobcaygeon playing, filling the silence between us. It's cold, your window broken and allowing the crisp night air to blow in as you speed down the silent, isolated highway. I look over at you, I rarely look but I can't help myself this time, and you catch me doing so. Though you don't turn to me I can see the slight twinkle in your eye, and in answer to my look you reach over gently pulling my head into your lap while you encircle your fingers in my hair. And this is how you continue to drive, with me tucked safely in your lap. Absently you stroke my hair and the song plays, lulling me into a light and peaceful state. I blindly stare at the clock's green glow as my mind recalls the nights events. We've had other scenes, other amazing nights. Like the night at the cabin by the lake where I took my first steps back into the water at the dock. Where we kissed and embraced as the sun rose out over the water. It was that night that brought me back. But tonight....was different, far different.

The Memory

You had paid such close attention to details. Carefully and meticulously buckling the cuffs around my wrists and ankles. So gently moving my hair out of the way to put on the collar. The time you took to suspend my arms above my head from the ceiling, and attach my ankles to the spreader bar was excrutiatingly long. You had the whole night planned out so perfectly. The drive up as you teased me mercilessly, the music you set up to play during, even the video camera. And it was like I had anticipated the scene ahead of time. You had never told me what to wear but as you slowly stripped the clothes from my body I could see the look of shock and excitement. I had chosen well.
Laying here now I can still feel your hands, hear your voice in my ear, that devilish smile, and those eyes....oh god, those eyes!! The power they had over me, always have had over me. The penetrate me, pierce through to the inner submissive inside and cause me to lose all frame of mind. One look and I am putty in your hands. The whole night was intense. The sting, the touch, the pure excitement of being completely open and vulnerable. You played me so well, pulled so many different feelings and emotions from me. Demanded me to let go, commanded my full submission.

The Chill

As I relive it now I begin to softly cry. The tears slowly coming to the surface. So much that I've held in over the years finally allowed to release from the vault within me. I doubt you know the importance of what you did tonight. I know you couldn't possibly understand the immense peace you have brought upon me. As my tears break the crest and silently trail down my cheek to dampen your pants and the music gets louder I am brought back to the now.
Your hand rests on my shoulder, the pad of your thumb very lightly caressing the base of my neck. The chill of the wind passes over me again. I feel it like a knife piercing my skin to the bone. Sadness now begins to wash over me as a new song begins. I can sense your change. Can feel it in your touch, a link to your soul. You only got a small glimpse of what you are opening within me and it made you uneasy. You've seen that the effort you've made is not enough. I told you at the beginning I was real and now I can feel that the understanding is sinking in. You're realizing I was telling the truth. You can see now what my submission really means to me. You didn't think you would ever actually find what you had dreamed about for years. You've found it, and now, you realize it's too much.

The Release

I knew it in those moments afterwards. When you sat down to watch the video as I sat at the chair still dressed in my pink and black corset, and heels. The wrist and ankle cuffs beginning to weigh me down, the collar still so nicely snug around my neck. Yes, I saw myself through your eyes, watched as they flitted from screen to me and back again. I followed each muscle in your face as they twitched and slowly erased the grin. I could see the emotions as they settled over you. It was in those moments that I already knew your secret. The fear in you nearly panicked me but the confirmation of your secret as you looked in my eyes and removed the collar settled me. I saw it and I felt it. The pure admiration, the deep respect I had earned. This would be the last time I feel that leather collar. The breeze I felt as the collar was slipped off my throat was that of freedom and release. You can not hold the power I have to give. We both know this. The communication is not needed. We've seen it in our eyes, reflections of ourselves looking back at us.

Final Moments of Peace

Yes, you made empty promises of new scenes to come and I agreed with a half hearted smile, feigning excitement that we both knew was not there. With my head in your lap now I lazily accept the last ounces of affection from you. I know this is the last time. You have given me what you could and I am forever grateful for your efforts, for the small amount of time you were able to hold me as your own. Later I will feel the emotions of anger, hurt and loss. Later I will silently suffer and piece myself back together with stronger glue. But for now, just for now I will stay in this moment of peace. I will just accept where I am and hold onto that feeling. My eyes, growing heavy, slowly slide shut. I hear Bobcaygeon start back up on the radio but it's growing distant. The chill vanishes and my thoughts begin to shut down, dimmer and dimmer until nothing but silent darkness.
Here in your lap, hand on my shoulder, speeding silently down the isolated highway, your broken window allowing the crisp night air to blow in; I am lost in a deep peaceful sleep for the very last time.

Tags

Bdsm, Release, Sadness, Scenes, Submission, Submissive

Meet the author

author avatar Empress
I write and have published poetry and was editor of the school newspaper all through highschool. I can write a variety of different genres from articles to novels

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Comments

author avatar cnwriter..carolina
5th May 2014 (#)

wow..intense....

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
5th May 2014 (#)

Interesting post!

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author avatar NiteMonster
5th May 2014 (#)

My favorite and most telling quote

You should never have agreed to be a god for me if you were afraid to assume the duties of a god, and we know that they are not as tender as all that. You have already seen me cry. Now you must learn to relish my tears.”
― Pauline Réage

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author avatar Empress
11th Jun 2014 (#)

I should clarify that this is not a recent event in my life. But something from my past and which I've slightly changed to keep the affiliated persons anonymity safe. I appreciate keeping names confidential. And for the record, I did NOT destroy anybody's relationship or be "the other woman" also please refrain from judgemental comments towards the lifestyle I love and is a huge part of me. Thank you

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