The First Reason

Phyl Campbell By Phyl Campbell, 21st Jun 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/oufktfo3/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>General Fiction

Jane and Charlie have been married a long time. For Jane, it seems interminable. She hoped that by leaving some of her favorite novels around, Charlie, who shares her love of reading, might pick one up and learn something to help add spice to their relationship. When he didn't take that bait, she let him know that she'd put the books out, marked some favorite passages, and labeled each with what she'd wear -- or remove -- as he read to her. Sadly, the theory was better than what was carried out.

Twenty Five Reasons Why Charlie Shouldn't Read Jane's Books to Jane

"'Even before she could scream out in ecstasy, he plunged into her and touched his fangs to the throbbing pulse of her throat. She said...'"
"What? What did she say" Jane cried, bordering on ecstasy herself.
"Wait a minute." Charlie said. "I've got to blow my nose."
"Ewww gross." Jane complained. "Now? You have to do that now?"
"You don't want my snot on the pages of your bodice ripper, do ya?" Charlie blew his nose rather loudly into the handkerchief he kept on the nightstand, next to a pile of fingernail clippings and several empty soda cans.
"Argh! Never mind!" Jane rolled over, silk teddy fully obscured by the plum comforter. If he hadn't suspected that sex was no longer on the table, he better take the hint -- quickly.
And this is the first reason why Charlie should never read Jane's books to Jane.

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Tags

Paranormal, Parody, Romance, Vampires

Meet the author

author avatar Phyl Campbell
I am "Author, Mother, Dreamer." I am also teacher, friend, Dr. Pepper addict, night-owl. Visit my website -- phylcampbell.com -- or the "Phyl Campbell Author Page" on Facebook.

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Comments

author avatar cnwriter..carolina
22nd Jun 2013 (#)

norty and very nice..you entertain us indeed...xox

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
22nd Jun 2013 (#)

Thanks!

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author avatar Terry Trainor
23rd Jun 2013 (#)

My wife finds fault with everything, even when I pick my teeth with my toenails in bed. Great post Phyl really enjoyed it.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
23rd Jun 2013 (#)

Ha Ha Ha Terry that's a wonderful comment!! I give that one a STAR!! I think you're going to love _25 Reasons_. I'll keep posting excerpts as I move it along. I learned that this couple created 800 romance novels and sold them as ebooks and became millionaires IN ONE YEAR. And I know romance is a hot-selling genre. I enjoy reading SOME of it. But I have great difficulty sitting down to write it. It feels fake and silly. But Jane and Charlie feel very real to me, and I hope they resonate with readers -- even the dieting ones who are forbidden apple cake! ;)

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