The Fourth Reason

Phyl Campbell By Phyl Campbell, 3rd Jul 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/43hrx5e_/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>General Fiction

Another installment of _25 Reasons Why Charlie Should Never Read Jane's Books to Jane._ I hope you enjoy it -- and check out the first three reasons if you haven't already.

Twenty-five Reasons Why Charlie Should Never Read Jane's Books to Jane

So if you're new to Wikinut, following from my Wordpress or FB accounts, or maybe you've just surfaced after spending some time under a rock, then you don't know about 25 Reasons yet. That's OK. I'm glad you stopped by.
Here's the plot summary:
Jane and Charlie have been married a long time. For Jane, it seems interminable. She hoped that by leaving some of her favorite novels around, Charlie, who shares her love of reading, might pick one up and learn something to help add spice to their relationship. When he didn't take that bait, she let him know that she'd put the books out, marked some favorite passages, and labeled each with what she'd wear -- or remove -- as he read to her. Sadly, the theory was better than what was carried out.
And here are links to the reasons you may have missed. Happy reading!!
First Reason
Second Reason
Third Reason

Photo Credits
http://mrg.bz/ryOwY3 -- Congress
<img src="http://mrg.bz/hmjq9W" width="58" height="59" border="0"><br>Photo credit: <a href="http://www.morguefile.com/creative/IJY">IJY</a> from <a href="http://www.morguefile.com/">morguefile.com</a> -- kissing couple

The Fourth Reason (Sexual Congress)

“Ugh!” Jane typed angrily at her laptop, alternating between furious typing and sitting back, scowling, while her eyes scanned the page.
“What’s the matter?”
“Oh – these stupid morons! They still haven’t figured out that the world should not be responsible for zipping their pants for them.” Jane returned to furious typing.
“Are you stirring the pot again, sweetheart?” Charlie grinned.
“Well, they just get so stuck on themselves.”
“Who does?” Charlie asked -- though he already knew. He liked it when she was riled up.
“These damn politicos! No contraception, no abortion, no gay marriage.”
“No lives. No fun. Stupid pricks," Charlie agreed.
“And these stupid people who think everything that comes out of their mouth is God’s own truth when they KNOW better. They should know better! This guy should know better!” Jane sat back, waiting for her comment to post and reading other responses. “’Women should stay home and raise babies.’” She quoted the poster. “Is he a moron or an idiot?”
“Are they mutually exclusive?” Charlie asked aloud. But Jane wasn’t paying attention.
“As if.” She replied aloud to the words on the screen.” Where would the senator’s whore come from if women didn’t enter the workplace?”
“They’re called interns.” Charlie offered. “Unless the senator ordered a stripper or a callgirl or something, then they are called that.”
“It’s called disgusting. And hypocritical. And demeaning to women.”
“Your blue streak is showing, dear. I didn’t know I married a liberal.”
“It’s not a Democrat thing. They're no better than the Republicans. It’s a woman thing, and it's an equality thing. A fairness thing.” Jane’s arms were crossed in a way that told Charlie she was up to being distracted a bit. He could do that.
“Would that be a pink thing? Maybe a lacy pink thing?” He asked without a hint of subtlety.
“Do I own anything pink or lacy?” Jane asked. Her arms were still crossed over her chest.
“OK. You've got a point." Charlie said agreeably. "So it’s a black, silky thing?”
“Yes, honey.” Jane snorted, turning back to her laptop. “My politics are a black silky thing.”
“Oh, baby. Sign me up for some sexual congress.” Charlie stood behind Jane, putting his chin on top of her head in a way he knew she hated. She whirled her chair around again in response.
“Charlie! I’m being serious! Women everywhere are…”
“Not part of my sexual congress." He was ready for her. By turning around, Charlie caught Jane’s legs and pulled her up to him for a kiss. "Only you are."
“Oh, Charlie. It’s a good thing I like you.” Jane said as she kissed him playfully.
“Hey, what’s not to like?” Charlie said. “I’m both fixed and housebroken. All that’s left is for you to feed and pet me.”
“Charlie!” Jane swatted at him as he led her to the bedroom. Sexual congress, indeed.

Tags

25 Reasons, Charlie, Comedy, Fiction, Jane, Politics, Romance, Sexual Congress

Meet the author

author avatar Phyl Campbell
I am "Author, Mother, Dreamer." I am also teacher, friend, Dr. Pepper addict, night-owl. Visit my website -- phylcampbell.com -- or the "Phyl Campbell Author Page" on Facebook.

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Comments

author avatar cnwriter..carolina
4th Jul 2013 (#)

this is hilarious Phyl me girl but with much hidden messages....

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
4th Jul 2013 (#)

Yes, tee hee hee!!

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author avatar Connie McKinney
5th Jul 2013 (#)

Very funny. Definitely a day brightener, for sure.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
5th Jul 2013 (#)

Thanks, Connie!

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