The Long and Short of It

Jamesvansteel By Jamesvansteel, 23rd Sep 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2c__qy0q/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

A short description of how depression feels to me. There is a common misconception that depression is just like being sad about life all the time. The truth is much more hopeless, and often involves being happy occasionally too. For me it felt like existing in my own head instead of actually being alive. The entire world seemed to go on without me and my thoughts consisted solely of trying to define who or what I was and how to make that a human being. Strange to describe, even stranger to feel

The Long and Short of It

Day by day in checkers locked
I king myself, I've never lost.
But Queen to King in nightly chess,
turn by turn in fights I'm tossed.

Between a gift I can't return
and train-car thoughts I might just burn,
He forged my name on liver's lease -
white wine or red won't wash it clean.

Long ago I died of drink
and ceased to feel a single thing,
but every rotting painful stink
has found it's way into my being.

When I perchance encounter trees
we each with grace do step aside
and shift our gaze to onward breeze,
beneath the bark there's much to hide.

Tags

Alcoholism, Chess, Existentialism, Question

Meet the author

author avatar Jamesvansteel
Mostly Inactive

Share this page

moderator Mark Gordon Brown moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know

Comments

author avatar Delicia Powers
23rd Sep 2013 (#)

Very powerful...

Reply to this comment

author avatar MarilynDavisatTIERS
23rd Sep 2013 (#)

Thank you for describing in both narrative and poetic terms what depression is like. Many people do not know. Perhaps with your page, they will come closer to an understanding. ~Marilyn

Reply to this comment

author avatar Brent Griffin
24th Sep 2013 (#)

I really enjoy the first line about checkers. I too have depression and agree that it has nothing to do with being sad all the time, but the truth is far from hopeless. In my opinion that is pretty much the most misleading advice you can give to someone who has depression or someone who is trying to learn about it. Drinking your sorrows away is probably one of the worst activities that you can do to attempt at coping with depression. Honestly, the truth of the matter is that the world does go on without you and me, we are in many ways completely insignificant and every human is constantly trying to define who they are,what their place is in the universe. Everyone has these thoughts, and they are completely rational, and there is truth to all of it. The key is how one reacts to these realizations and perpetual questions.

Reply to this comment

author avatar Jamesvansteel
24th Sep 2013 (#)

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for my description to be advice, only a description of how it feels. I have, for the most part, overcome my depression today and it was greatly through an ever present sense of hope. But to truly be honest about the experience I had to be honest about my own feelings. Many times I felt hopeless, and many times I chose the wrong methods to cope.

Reply to this comment

author avatar Brent Griffin
24th Sep 2013 (#)

I agree, it does feel hopeless. I made the same mistake of using and drinking to cope. You really do have to put in effort to overcome it, that's what I found. Don't be sorry man, write what you write to please yourself not other people. I was just throwing my opinion out there. If I didn't like it I wouldn't have commented on it in the first place. Keep writing! (:

Reply to this comment

Add a comment
Username
Can't login?
Password