The MelanKoliK AlKoholiK on Love

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 17th Feb 2016 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Society & Issues

In celebration of Valentine's Day (although I am 3 days late), today we speak of love.

The MelanKoliK AlKoholiK on Love

Love is simply amazing. Love is a special and equally complicated emotion which everyone has had a taste of it and know because of its intense effect on an individual, it can set a heart free. You immediately stop thinking of your worries and other petty rubbish and just daydream about the person with whom you share the love with. Now I might hear from a couple of guys suggesting that love is for the weak and sensitive and that they don’t have the time for such rubbish but that is just garbage in itself. We all are either looking for someone to love us for who we are or have already found that person. There is no exceptions to love, while some bastard might have a tough exterior, deep down he knows the importance of love and the voids it fills within their lives. There are multiple types of love that a person shares, one being the love the person has for their family, the love a person has for another that compliments them, the love a person has for their children and the love a person has for a Higher Power and/ or humanity. If there was no love, there wouldn’t be a reason for marriage or for people to be together (aside from sex). Although most people think and believe that love revolves around the heart, it surprisingly occurs in the brain. Artists and poets normally symbolize love with the heart but it’s the brain that creates chemical reactions to make people understand love. But does true love indeed exist? The type where if it is required for a person to choose between family and a loved one, they would choose the loved one. Can true love exist in a polygamous or open relationship? Can true love survive long distance relationships and can a person truly recover from a broken heart?

The first type of love we will speak of is the love a person has for their family. In my experience, this type of love is more of an obligatory sense because of the fact that your siblings and your parents are your kin. However I do not believe that this can be considered as true love or can evolve into true love either. This is due to the fact that the love of family doesn’t evolve into any else, it is never changing. Because of the love you hold for your family, you do what you can to support and make them proud as you are appreciative of what they have done for you and for the support they have given you. Because this love is more obligatory, people are more likely to not share their inner most feelings and emotions to their family because while you might love them, you do not love them in the manner as you would love your opposite half. This type of love is usually unconditional, and is forgiving of faults and mistakes that a family member makes. It also give the feeling of comfort, safety and security because it fulfils the need of belonging and acceptance.

Another love that must be identified and noted is the love you have for your friends. It is love on a platonic level. Your friends are considered as an extension of yourself, which is how you gain your friends as they usually either share the same characteristics as you or compliment you in ways that you feel inadequate. This is the type of love that makes you desire a friendship with another person because they are so interesting or have great characteristics and as a result, it is a chosen love. However, I do not believe that it has the ability to evolve into true love because as much as you love your friends, I don’t believe that you would go out of your way to do anything for them in the sense of sacrifice. Therefore I cannot consider it to be an evolutionary step of true love.

Thirdly, we are going to speak of the love you share with that someone special. This love is on an emotional, intimate and sexual level. This is the type of love that you share with a person who you are willing to spend the rest of your life with. You would die for your significant other. This love is passionate and intense, where you cannot stop thinking about them and they give you butterflies. It is the type of love that sees beyond aesthetics and accepts the person for who they are, regardless of their flaws.
This in essence, is romance at its finest. Because of the deep nature of this love that you will have towards your significant other, I believe it is an evolutionary step towards true love. Yes, I believe true love can be cultivated from the love you can have for your significant other. To show how deep this love runs, people who are in love in such a manner are truly heartbroken when things do not work out, or are willing to bare themselves naked and consummate this love with their significant other, highlighting the unspoken idea that I am ready to give you all of me, my body, soul and to share my life with you.

Because of the consummation of the love you share with your significant other, this will probably result in the birth of children. Now the love you share for your children is just as powerful (if not more) as the love you share with your significant other. The love you have for your children is also unconditional, regardless of the mistakes they make. It is also a love that shows sacrifice as you would do almost anything for your children without expecting anything in return. In the same way that mothers are fierce and overprotective when it comes to their children, this highlights just how far parents are willing to go for their children. It is a committed love as you as a parent will always put your children first and above all other petty rubbish. This love also allows the parent to be warm and tender to their children, showing that they care deeply for their children. It also asserts the role that you are given, and as a result gives you and your child a sense of belonging with each other for if no one else is willing to love you or your children, you still have each other. Because of these traits, the love you share for your children can also be considered an evolutionary step to true love which you share for you children. As earlier stated, this is exemplified by the willingness of parents to sacrifice themselves for the sake of their children. In its own weird way, it is similar to the love you share for your significant other but different considering the context in which the love is presented.

A type of love that is rarely spoken of but is also present is the love we as people have for ourselves. This is not like vanity or narcissism (even though it can develop onto one of the two) but rather the love we have in ourselves due to the individuality of each person. This love is especially powerful when you take into account that there are over 7 billion people on the planet and there are none like you. This type of love is an appreciation of your individuality, an appreciation of the values you believe and the ideologies which you fight for. It is the self-respect we have of ourselves and the ability to take care of ourselves so as to empower yourself and feel good. True love cannot be associated with this type of love as to love yourself to such an extent is to become narcissistic and vain. As a result, your perspective on things in life becomes skewered due to you putting yourself above everything else and that is not the true purpose of true love as love is meant to be shared with others, not just by glorifying yourself for egotistic purposes.

While there might be different types of love, love is still the same. That is the beauty of love in my opinion. Everyone might have a different explanation of what love is but if anything, it is a sign that everyone has experienced it. Sometimes you don’t need words to describe what love is as actions are just as good. A hug, kiss, holding hands or just lying together. Such simple things are indicators that you care for that person to the point where you allow them into your personal space. A hug is a representation that you are happy to see a person and that you miss them, indicating that they have a place in your life. A kiss can be interpreted as an intimate connection between people in the manner that you are mine as I am yours. The simple act of holding hands is representative of the affection between you and the person you are holding hands with. It can be considered as a public display of possession in the same manner that a kiss is sending the message that I am yours as you are mine. It is the small and simple things that show that you are in love with a person or vice versa.

To those wondering how to fall in love, in my experience, love is not something you go out looking for. Love is not something you try to find and love is not something that finds you. Love is something that just happens at any time. That is the beauty of it, its unpredictability and spontaneousness. You know you are in love when you realise that life is meaningless or unimaginable without your significant other at your side.

I personally have no interest in the scientific explanation of love as I believe that love is beyond scientific explanations. It is spontaneous and representative of what life should be or is. Love is the chemistry between people, the undeniable attraction, the fluttering hearts, the light headedness, the butterflies in the stomach, the look of longing in a person’s eyes (the bedroom eyes), the smell of lust among people within a relationship, the biting of a lip, the holding of hands, the warm embrace of a mother, the caring brush of your lovers hand across your face, love is passion, love is lust, love is commitment, love is obsession, love is romance, love is all consuming, love is free but is also binding, love is better experienced than defined, love is sacrifice, love is infatuation, love is dedication, love is kindness, love is generosity, love can’t be bought or sold, love makes 2 into 1 and at the same time make 1 into 2, love can conquer all, love is all of these combined and as a result, love is life’s greatest blessing.

All in all, Life is meaningless without love and you wouldn’t experience love if you do not have life so as a closing line, love is life and life is love….

Hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading…


Love, Love And Soul

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author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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author avatar Md Rezaul Karim
20th Feb 2016 (#)

Interesting to read about others feelings and sentiments!

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author avatar Memba Ben
22nd Feb 2016 (#)

Good Day Rezaul

Thanks for the response.It is always good to receive feedback.

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