The MelanKoliK AlKoholiK on Sex

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 11th Feb 2016 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Sexuality & Gender

Today’s article is about a constant within our subconscious whenever we see and/or meet people who are attractive. It is a constant thought in a teenagers mind. Everyone and their mother partakes in this deed (it is why you as a reader are on this planet in the first place). Today we as a whole will talk(read) and discuss the act known as sex.

The MelanKoliK AlKoholiK on Sex

There are few things in this world that give joy and the inescapable feeling of pleasure and bliss to people as much as coitus (sex) does. The fact that ALL mammals and animals partake in carnal activities is testament to how important it is in our daily lives. But I am not here to discuss sex from a scientific point of view as that takes away the rawness and spontaneousness of sex. I am here to talk about it from an everyday point of view. Whether you enjoy licking, sucking, f*cking, rubbing and tasting or whether you enjoy getting licked, sucked, f*cked, rubbed and being tasted, this article is for you.

Just imagine a scenario where bodies are sticky, and sweaty, lips, hips, and feet are intertwined. You or your lover are lusting heavily after one another and as a result are in each other’s ear whispering sweet nothings to each other, urging one another to reach your climax and climax at the same time. Together, you and your lover move, slide, and grind deep into one another in synch relative to the simultaneous beating of your hearts. Desperate to keep the pleasurous sensation building within yourselves, you and your lover cling to one another to keep your bodies close and warm as you and your lover work a horizontal dance move and connect the dots of sweat beads on each other’s bodies. As you realise you are about to reach your climax, the pleasure within you and your lovers bodies begins to become uncontainable as your toes curl, and a soft moan escapes your lovers lips like the guilty pleasure it is until the climax is reached where you and your lover don’t just climax individually but climax as one, in both body and soul.

See, to some, sex is just a means to an end (reproduction), and as a result treat it as a chore. Others treat it as the culmination of a union between two people that started with the act of wooing, then dating, then after the dating comes the act of marriage to establish the bond as lifelong, and after that is the consummation which is the definitive proof of the union being permanent. To others, sex is an act that goes beyond the realm of the physical, as it merges 2 parties and their bodies, people of this belief also believe that their souls, and consciousness are merged as one being during the act symbolising singularity between the couple and that no one can break the bond between the two. However, at the end of the day, what representation people have of the ideology and symbolism behind sex is down to a matter of personal interpretation.

But like all things, sex can be a divisive topic but to be fair, when it comes to sex, it is a matter of people being sensitive to things and how far they are desensitized when it comes to sex as to some people, the act of sex can be a matter of following a single template and being vanilla while other people believe that the act of sex should include variations so as to keep the sex life between couples interesting. This can result in interesting variations being labelled as kinky which also leads to labelling of preferences as fetishes and this can also lead to a possible beginning of exploration of different sexual orientations. But the reason these fetishes are not considered normal is because society is not desensitized to that point whereby they can accept fetishes as norms in sex life just as the only reason as to why any other sexual orientation than straight is looked down upon as society is just not used to such a shift in fundamental thinking when it comes to the expectance of sexual orientation amongst the 2 gender types.

This leads us into a controversial topic to discuss in terms of societal norms. To be fair, people are free to explore the different types of orientations available (and many people do) but it becomes an issue when people are not used to such things and because it is not considered a norm for singular thinking types of people, they tend to discriminate against those who have the courage to come out with the truth about their orientation or those who are brave enough to explore other sexual orientations to see if they can potentially close a void within their lives. The choice of people to actively pursue a different orientation is an individual right so what gives another person to violate another individual’s right just because they (the perpetrator) is too sexually illiterate to understand that there are alternatives to the norms? The reasons people seek out different orientations are multiple. One could be that the person seeking has been harmed by a person of the opposite gender and decides to seek out the love of one within his/her gender, or it could be physiological issue. To me, having a sexual orientation that allows a person to experience both sides of the gender spectrum sounds great as the person gets to meet multiple partners and experience many wonderful emotions that you as a person normally wouldn’t. On the other hand, at the other end of the table are people whose sexual orientation can only be described as asexual.

Asexuality is not to be confused with celibacy. While celibate people can still be attracted to other people and therefore have a sexual orientation, asexual people are people without a sexual orientation. These are the people who are not attracted to neither male nor female genders potentially leading them to lead a life of solitude. Sure, a person can have multiple friends but they are nothing in comparison to a person you can share your most intimate self with. This becomes a problem as they can potentially only know to love their parents and children, but will never love a person in the sense of loving a partner or experience love in that manner.

While experiencing different sexual orientations can be great in the sense that you can learn new and different things compared to what you are used to, and learn new coitus techniques, it becomes a potential pitfall as it will begin to promote the lifestyle of promiscuity and while the lifestyle is nothing to be afraid of, the repercussions that come with promiscuity are very threatening. The problem with most promiscuous people is that they tend to exhibit anti-social traits such as recklessness and when you have as many partners as promiscuous people tend to have, added with the recklessness they show, it can lead to the potential contracting of ailments and diseases. See, promiscuous people tend to be thrill-seekers with everything in life, so as a result that will extend to the bedroom where they won’t bother with protection. Now as they change partners like they change underwear, eventually someone will contract something. Now, while I can preach the merits of exploration and the freedom to do as thou wilt, I can’t condone that at the expense of potentially ruining someone’s life. So please, if you tend to be “free as a bird” when it comes to the bedroom, please limit that to one partner.

Which indirectly leads us to another issue involving the freedom to love whomever you want and practise whatever sexual routine you as a person want to do.For example, a person is free to love and…”love” anyone they want but it begins to get morally ambiguous when the aforementioned person loves someone who is WAY younger than them. What should be the limitation of how young a person should be before they are not allowed to engage in sexual activities? I do not condone statutory but at the same time don’t believe that that specific law was well thought out. I mean, the minor might be young and all but surely the minor has enough of a reasoning/thinking capacity to assess whether or not to partake in sexual activities with an older person. There have been many cases whereby the older individual has been shamed by society and warned by the police to cease their activities with the minor. I am sure that those situations could have been avoided had the minor came out and said that it was their decision to partake. To further substantiate this point, why is it that older women who hunt down younger men are viewed as sexual icons whereas when older men hunt down younger women, society cries wolf? Doesn’t that qualify as a double-standard? Why is the man subjugated to shame whereas the woman is accepted? That doesn’t make any sense. At what point does personal responsibility come into play? People should not be always playing the victim when they knew what they were getting themselves into, but then again, not to sound like I a lashing out against women, on the other side of the coin, it COULD be a peek into the true nature of how society tends to pity women, and to be fair, women are perfect in how they are able to take advantage of that sympathy.

If we are to continue further into this subject, there is also the rather sensitive and controversial matter of “child love”. Now, while I can somewhat understand (to a certain degree anyway) the sexual nature of a relationship between a teen and an adult, I can’t fully understand the sexual nature of a relationship between an adult and a CHILD. While I think that society doesn’t try to make an effort to fully understand and rehabilitate people with such “interests” (and please don’t take it as me trying to be apologetic towards such a cause or demonising it, after all there are always 2 sides to a story), I also feel like they themselves can’t justify what they are doing due to the act being morally wrong in the eyes of society and as a result would never get a fair chance to explain the desire to perform such an act due to the bias and shaming that society has against it. I have however seen instances where a person with such an “acquired taste” justify their act by saying that the way children express love is beautiful and pure and innocent so as a result, they (the person) want to “share” in that beauty by showing them how to express it in a physical manner. I find this to be a dodgy thing to do as it seems like a predatory and manipulative thing to do. What does that say of your psychological state that you are interested with children in such a manner? Surely there are other people (who aren’t children) within the world that can match your expectations of what sex and love should be? The child hasn’t developed a strong enough reasoning capacity to understand whether you are being ambiguous or not so please don’t do such things. Of course to be fair, there are people within this community who don’t have such desires but are still attracted to children and it would be unfair for us to paint the entire community with the same brush (no, I am not condoning the matter as I do not know enough to agree or disagree with the mentioned community’s views). However, if you are indeed the type who feels the need to act out on your desires, I would like to encourage you to find someone who has the professional and experienced capabilities to help you overcome your “desires” as it is legally wrong to exploit a child for sexual purposes.

Sorry for that unpleasant bit, folks. It just had to be addressed.

To get back on topic, we have to discuss sex….or rather…..self sex. That’s right, we are discussing what teenage boys and adult men do in their spare time, masturbation. Masturbation is the act of pleasuring yourself when there is no one around to help pleasure you. But to some men, it is generally used as a stress reliever. When a man whacks one off, they tend to have a clearer head (in more ways than one) and are able to reason more soundly as a result. This has happened to me, when a temptress offered her pleasure service, I jumped at the opportunity knowing fully well that I had a woman. Now it might sound morally wrong to perform adultery but women need to understand that the only reason why men do such an act is because of lust and nothing more. When we were about to do the deed, the guilty conscience began to invade my mind, and as a result, decided to go whack one off instead. When the deed was done, I was back to thinking reasonably and furthermore, when I saw the woman again, I realised that she wasn’t as aesthetically appealing as she was when I had the thirst within me. Like me, some men tend to treat the thirst in this manner, thus preventing us from cheating. And to be perfectly clear, masturbation is not a gender specific thing, both men and women practise it more commonly than you might think for reasons stated. However common masturbation might be, there is a stigma of shame around it perpetuated by prudes, that it is a sin to perform such acts. This mind-set is wrong as by denying our carnal desires, we are in essence denying our nature as humans. Masturbation only becomes a problem when it begins to hinder your life in one manner or another such as having an addiction to it because it is immediate. It can also hinder your ability to socialise and potentially meeting someone who you can have coitus with. In a sense of being problematic, it is similar to prostitution. Because some men are either to shy, or have low self-esteem or just can’t talk and woo women if his life depended on it, they tend to resort to easier alternatives like the 2 mentioned above because there is no wooing required or any sort of interaction that can make the person uncomfortable. As a result, the person becomes addicted to this quick fix, and in the process, begins to isolate themselves from a social point of view. A lack of interaction with women and the desensitization of the person because of prostitution and masturbation will result in them having a skewered opinion of women, such as thinking of them as nothing more than sex toys. This rabbit hole will eventually lead to a dark thought pattern whereby the person will want to act out on their needs but because they lack the social skills required to speak to women and also objectifying them, they will be forced to take extreme measures such as rape. The point which I am trying to make is that while masturbating once in a while is required, allowing it to become an addiction is asking to have your life ruined.

On the other side of the coin are people who choose to stay celibate. This could be due to religious reasons or wanting to wait for the right person to perform this act with, after all, to some, sex is a union of body and soul and you wouldn’t want to share such a special moment in your life with just anyone.But like a lot of things in modern society, this vow is ridiculed and laughed at by people with a need to feel empowered over others. These people tend to act as if being a virgin is akin to being (for lack of better word) a punk, that you are wasting your life away. But because these people do not hold sex in the same regard as people who chooses to stay celibate, they will never begin to understand what reasons celibates choose to stay celibate. It is this linear form of thinking that continues to cause divisions between such people and celibates, people who are not just heterosexual, and people who are transgender. Because these people do not understand that people are different and as a result will make different choices according to how they want to live life, they will mock and belittle people who choose to be different, thinking that they are entitled to force their ideologies onto others. If such people are fortunate enough to be reading this article, please understand that your opinions should be respectful of others as others respect yours so don’t do around mocking people who are brave enough to see and try things in a different light whereas you are too frightened of anything you do not understand. In short, STOP BEING A D*CK (which is ironic since this is an article about sex and dicks are required for the act)!

In closing, I would like to say that all views have both their merits and flaws but would like to encourage the reader to explore the alternatives of sex, because like life, things involving sex should not be straightforward like black and white, but in ambiguity like grey.

Hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading…


Sex, Sexual Activity, Sexual Behavior, Sexual Life

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author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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