The Nature Of Heartbreak

SuburbanTarzan By SuburbanTarzan, 30th Aug 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Columns & Opinions

It is evitable that we all must experience this at sometime in our lives. For most people it’s more than once that they have to go through this emotional turmoil…

The Feel Of Heartache

When someone close to you is suddenly gone for whatever reason, it is hard to adjust to life without them. They are in every single thought that passes through your mind. They are the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning and the last face you see when you close your eyes to sleep. Then there's that heavy feeling that you get in your chest. You remember all the things that happened and you notice how so many little things remind you of the person that you’ve lost. Time goes by unbearably slow and the days pass by in a daze. You’re a walking shell that is hollow and numb on the inside.

It is not a pleasant feeling at all and it can happen whether you’ve lost a family member, a lover, a friend or even a close pet. Or maybe you've realised that you’re on your way to losing someone and your heart aches as you watch the relationship crumble right in front of you.

Heartbreak can also be brought on by disappointment, betrayal or a change in your environment as you long for the familiar things of the past.

The depression that we spiral into when our hearts are broken stops us from experiencing all areas of life as we normally would. Some people stay cooped up in their homes while others feel physical pain and sickness.

The Symptoms:

- Loss of appetite and possible eating disorders
- Insomnia
- Fatigue
- Loss of interest in everyday activities
- Headaches and stomach aches
- Nausea and panic attacks
- Depression and emotional breakdowns resulting in tears
- Occasional nightmares but mostly dreams of having things back the way they were
- Alcohol and/or drug abuse

The Stages:

1) Shock & Denial
Unwillingness to face the reality of the situation provides protection from feeling emotionally overwhelmed. The loss causes shock which leads to a state of numbness making judgment difficult.

2) Pain & Guilt
Initial shock wears off as pain and suffering set in. Regret is felt over things that might have been said or done differently. At this stage is when people choose to either talk things out with someone who will listen or they will shut everyone out and hide in a shell.

3) Anger & Bargaining
Lashing out in an attempt to release the overflow of emotions. All the questions come at this point as one tries to explain why things happened the way they did and how the situation should have played out.

4) Depression, Reflection & Loneliness
Finally, the realisation that the person, whoever it may be, is gone. The enormity of the loss sets in.

5) Acceptance & Upward Turn
Life starts to become bearable again as the depression lifts. The future is coming back into focus. Everything isn’t as good as new, nor will it ever be, but the first steps forward can be taken.

Mending Takes Time

Although it has been said time and time again that time is the best thing for broken hearts, it is true. Time. Patience. No matter how trying and impossible as it may seem. Leaning on family and friends for support. Channelling the pain into art or some other constructive physical activity. Spending time alone in reflection to feel the pain and grow through it. These are what will get you through the toughest times.

“The darkest hour has only sixty minutes.” - Morris Mandel


Abuse, Acceptance, Ache, Alcohol, Alone, Anger, Appetite, Bargain, Betrayal, Break, Content, Denial, Depression, Disappointment, Dream, Drug, Eating Disorder, Emotion, Experience, Family, Fatigue, Feeling, Friend, Guilt, Happiness, Happy, Headache, Heart, Heartache, Heartbreak, Insomnia, Interest, Life, Loneliness, Lonely, Lose, Loss, Lost, Love, Nature, Nausea, Nightmare, Pain, Panic Attack, Past, Reflection, Relationship, Shock, Sickness, Solitude, Stomachache, Tears, Time

Meet the author

author avatar SuburbanTarzan
Life is black and white. Grey areas are for those who sit on the fence. I think way too much for my own good. If I don't write, I'll go insane. So here I am.

Share this page

moderator johnnydod moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know


author avatar Steve Kinsman
30th Aug 2011 (#)

Very nice post, SuburbanTarzan. I loved the quote you put in at the end.

Reply to this comment

author avatar juny
2nd Sep 2011 (#)

I understand about this heartbreak very well.
I can relate to this, to the extent that I could almost taste it.

Reply to this comment

author avatar vpaulose
10th Sep 2011 (#)

Thank you Tarzan for this nice piece on heartbreak.

Reply to this comment

author avatar Funom Makama
15th Oct 2011 (#)

woooow~~~~~ Unbelievable... I never thought heartbreak can be analyzed medically like this...

Reply to this comment

author avatar Stella Mitchell
15th Feb 2013 (#)

An excellent write up about a subject no-one wants to experience , but has been the sad case for multitudes past and many yet to come .You sound like you really know what you are talking about .
God bless you

Reply to this comment

Add a comment
Can't login?