The Russian cook's boast!

Blair Gowrie By Blair Gowrie, 28th Jun 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

George visits the kitchen where the Russian, German and Chinese cooks become involved in an argument.

From "The Adventures of George"

One problem nearly solved, one still in hand,
It won’t be so easy with the Bin Maden gang,
Reflected George, as he made his way
To the kitchen with its aromatic array
Of stews and sauces, sautees and steaks,
And his five cooks working hard to make
Attractive dishes, soups, sweets and salads,
Of every customer to please the palate.
The silver-haired cook was in a very good mood,
Smiling and laughing and showing George the food
He was carefully preparing for dispatch to the table
Of the Russian ambassador, a man who was able
To consume gourmet dishes by the score,
One after the other, and then call for more,
With wines and vodka for liquid libations,
And toasting his friends in frequent salutations.
“Yes” said the cook “Mother Russia is big,
Please allow me to salute it with a small swig
Of a brew which has become my favourite tipple,
Brandy distilled from the best Georgian apples,”
And saying this pulled his flask from his smock,
Poured out a measure and held it aloft,
“First in space, and victor in wars”
And downed his drink to much applause.
His fellow cooks all smiled at his boast,
But one took exception to this toast,
“My people invented rockets, it is well-known,
Everyone has heard of Werner Von Braun,
And our armies have conquered all over the continent
So dispute I must your untruthful sentiments.”
“No, no,” said the eastern cook, “you are both wrong,
My people had rockets before your countries were born,
And the powder required to make bombs detonate,
It’s these two things which make a country great”
George thought it better to calm them down a bit,
By observing it didn’t matter one whit
What happened in the past – the present is now,
“We’ve a job to do, so let’s show them how
We can work together in a spirit of co-operation
Worthy of a miniature United Nations.

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author avatar Prasul Surendran
29th Jun 2011 (#)

Interesting :)

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
29th Jun 2011 (#)

Very clever. Loved it.

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author avatar Blair Gowrie
16th Aug 2011 (#)

And sometimes the cooks have disagreements,

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author avatar Blair Gowrie
19th Sep 2015 (#)

I have now re-published my story, The Adventures of George, in full, on Amazon (under my pen-name Blair Gowrie). So, for a good read and a good laugh, this is where you should go!

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