The Tapping

Kalai By Kalai, 30th Apr 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2gaf3xrc/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Short Stories

Sometimes our mind plays tricks on us. When we are at crossroads or when we think too much about certain things, our subconscious will lead us to the right path. This is one such story.

The Nightmare Begins

There it goes again. The soft tapping sound. I try to ignore but the insistent tapping is difficult to ignore. I turn the other way but in no avail. I look at my husband. Fast asleep, curled up on his side of the bed oblivious to my dilemma. It has been like this for the last four nights, ever since I made up my mind to leave.

It has been a difficult decision. I never wanted it to be this way but life has a funny way of playing itself out. I can still recall the dreams I has as a young adult. I wanted to be a writer. Not just any writer but the best in the world. I had high hopes for myself and I had the talent. Of this I was certain.

Then I met Josh and suddenly there seem to be other things in my world. I wanted to be with him all the time. We had met in the university and every spare moment was spent in each other’s company. We had our breaks together, studied together and had so much fun together. I no longer seem to remember that dream of my to be a writer.

The end of my university days saw me getting married. Those heady days as a newly married wife was all so consuming. We rented a small apartment and tried to make it a home. Within a year there was Lidia and soon there was David. The blissful state of being married with two young children was beginning to see the cracks.

I was constantly tired and money was short. Josh tried his best but I was so bitter. My old dream of being a world famous writer was returning to haunt me. I felt cheated. This is not what I wanted. Slowly my life began to disgust me. I love my husband and my kids but I was becoming depressed. I felt trapped and could see no hope for an escape. I made the decision to leave.

That was when the tapping started.

Was this some kind of message from another world or was it all in my mind. I knew the tapping was connected to my wanting to leave. Call it instinct if you want but I knew there was a meaning in this. I got out of my bed and walked to the window. It was a beautiful moonlit night but there was no one outside. I put on my robe and walked downstairs to the study room. This had always been my sanctuary. I curled up into my chair and heard the tapping again. The light on my laptop was flickering. My thoughts turn to my dreams again, the desire of becoming a writer and becoming what I was meant to be. Do I have to leave one to become another? The tapping stops. My clears and peace engulfs me.

I pull my laptop towards me and begin typing.

Tags

Confidence, Fear, Mother, Sounds, Tapping, Wife, Writing

Meet the author

author avatar Kalai
Into English Literature in a big way. Have been an educator for many, many years. Also into health and food issues. Love to read. Will read just about anything and everything. A very happy person.

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Comments

author avatar MarilynDavisatTIERS
1st May 2014 (#)

Good morning, Kalai, you have tapping, I have the dawn light that wakes me to write. We grab a moment here, a hour there. I just published a piece on time and writing - not a shameless plug, just that all of us struggle with this issue of all the other things/people/responsibilities in our lives and trying to find balance with our writing. Thanks for this piece. ~Marilyn

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
28th May 2014 (#)

My son is Josh. Your words compelled me. It is a struggle for a woman to find "self" after becoming "wife" and "mother." Not for all, but certainly for many. I am thought to be such a strong-minded and strong-willed woman, so if I know I am having trouble, my heart goes out to most women who do not share my resilience. But sometimes we write about writing and we write about our frustrations and we read the sage words of others until we are ready to make words of our own. Good luck and happy writing/choosing.

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