The Trouble with Cramp.....

Songbird B By Songbird B, 5th Jul 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

An almost sad tale of passion nearly thwarted, when muscle spasm intervenes... Read it and weep, dear friend....with laughter...\0/..

The Trouble with Cramp....Love's passion thwarted...

I was lying in bed, just t'other night,
with my hubby, who thinks he's my master..
He whispered absurd, oh such sweet loving words,
but I knew just what he was after..
Well he nibbled my ear, he was peckish, I fear..
and told me how much he adored me...
Funny, I thought, he was quite overwrought,
when I admitted I'd broken his shed key!

So we were both moved, as his mood much improved..
And romantic, he thought he was getting,
How could I refuse, could I sober his mood,
Nah, would I be so cruel? So I let him...

So passion ensued, well, I cannot be rude..
But as he peaked, how he cried out instead..
I thought to hear joy from my hubby, my boy,
but he cried, 'Ahhh, I've got cramp in me leg!!'

Well, I tell you, that guy, had such tears in his eyes...
At the stiffness that he was now feeling...
He leapt out of bed, cracking his head,
and over the dog, he went reeling!

I was laughing so much, as the duvet I clutched,
as he then stumbled into the lamp,
Passion now ebbed, as he fell onto the bed...
Ah well, guess that's the trouble with cramp!



Photo Credit; Ambro freedigitalphotos.net

Tags

Agony, Bed, Cramp, Husband And Wife Story, Laugh Out Loud, Laughing, Love, Muscle Cramps, Muscle Pain, Muscle Spasm, Overwrought, Relationship, Sexual Activity, Sexual Life, Songbird B

Meet the author

author avatar Songbird B
Hi there! I am Songbird B, and I am a semi-pro female Jazz vocalist. I have a huge passion for Jazz music, and I love writing Poetry, which I have done all my life. I am very Spiritual in my beliefs, and love Photography, Music and Garden Design....I...(more)

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Comments

author avatar johnnydod
6th Jul 2011 (#)

I nearly fell out of bed reading this hahaha, Bev this is one of the funniest poems I have ever read, your humour is second to none.
Funny funny funny

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author avatar Buzz
6th Jul 2011 (#)

Ahahaha. Lol. I almost peed in my pants, my friend! Hilarious.

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author avatar jak2010
6th Jul 2011 (#)

I just have to go with johny and buzz. ohhhhhh my....

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author avatar poetic2984
6th Jul 2011 (#)

Like this style, those interlne rhymes , very cleverly done. Yes entertaining.

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author avatar Retired
6th Jul 2011 (#)

HUmorous and well penned. The internal rhymes add bounce to the beat. ;-)

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author avatar Delicia Powers
6th Jul 2011 (#)

Very fun, and masterfully done Songbrid...:0)!

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author avatar Songbird B
6th Jul 2011 (#)

Thank you all, I am so glad you enjoyed! I thought that you would have a really good chuckle at this Johnny, as you were moderating it..So chuffed that I made you all chuckle..\0/

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author avatar Maria Malone
6th Jul 2011 (#)

So funny Songbird, Well done!

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
6th Jul 2011 (#)

This is hilarious! Thanks for making my morning, Songbird.

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author avatar jayababy
6th Jul 2011 (#)

What do u eat daly? What do u add to your pen? Let me know the secret of this kind of talent!!!. U r not only Songbird but also Star Bird.
EXTRAORDINARY POEM.

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author avatar Songbird B
6th Jul 2011 (#)

Lol! Bless you Jayababy, 'cos your comment made me laugh. I can see humour in most things, and I am never short of words as you can see! lol. Thank you Maria, and you too Steve, for popping into my page and leaving a comment too. So glad that this is going down well with everybody... I so love to make people smile..\0/x

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author avatar satan fury
6th Jul 2011 (#)

I really enjoyed the humor in this poem. Good work

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author avatar Carol Kinsman
6th Jul 2011 (#)

This was so funny! Thank you for making my day, Bev.

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author avatar aking1614
6th Jul 2011 (#)

Hilarious! There's no other word for this. I must say I have been awakened from sleep by the occasional leg cramp, but never in the midst of a romantic interlude. :)

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author avatar richardpeeej
6th Jul 2011 (#)

hahaha this brought tears to my eyes as I was reading it Bev. Your poor husband this should be a comedy sketch on the TV..lol

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author avatar Retired
6th Jul 2011 (#)

I have images flashing before my eyes so funny thank you.

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author avatar Retired
7th Jul 2011 (#)

Have to agree with Johnny, It was hilarious and we had a good laugh...

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author avatar Denise O
8th Jul 2011 (#)

Funny! Been there, done that, with the hubby. Shhhh don't tell the hubby I told you he suffered from the same misfortune. As always, thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar moyossie
8th Jul 2011 (#)

Lol. I love your sense of humour.
I also loved that the words rhymed. Even children would love this poem. it has that twist to it. Lovely.

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author avatar Songbird B
9th Jul 2011 (#)

So many great comments to this poem, thank you one and all, and Denise, your post made me giggle, a lot! I love to make people laugh, and I must admit, I found this poem a real joy to write...Bless each and every one of you for supporting my work...XXX\0/

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author avatar Tranquilpen
10th Jul 2011 (#)

Hello Bev, would you believe, I had the worst cramp ever, yesterday morning, it grabbed hold of my calf muscle and squeeeezed! until I shot bolt upright at four a.m.No amorous moves either before during and definitely afterwards. Your great poem yanked my memory right back to that moment. Great read, thank you:-)

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author avatar Songbird B
11th Jul 2011 (#)

Hi Andre...It is so painful when that happens, so I really feel for you my dear friend! Glad you enjoyed my tongue in cheek humour on it though..\0/

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author avatar MAnature
11th Jul 2011 (#)

That was so real... totally could see that happen in fact it has... hehe ~ loved it~ you are too funny :)

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author avatar THE BARD
12th Jul 2011 (#)

Very well penned Songbird and very funny.
I read somewhere a long time ago that eating a few squares of dark chocolate every day helps prevent getting the cramp and it seems to work for me on that score. But at the age 75 now although I've cured the cramp problem I have long lost the Peaking so I am looking for the cure for that!!

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author avatar Tranquilpen
11th Aug 2011 (#)

LOL! I came back for a re-read! thank you bev.

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