The fella, the crash, the cat and the stitches (or Mellie moment number three)

Melissa Dawn By Melissa Dawn, 15th Mar 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Personal Experiences

Sometimes odd characters come into our lives. Sometimes odd men come into mine, and this was just one of those times. They say like attracts like, which, if true, is alarming. In 2008 on a downward spiral from a common-law break up and two disastrous internet flings I just wanted to party. Here's what happenned.

It all began with a painting job

I've done a lot of different things in my life and while I don't hold professional decorator certifications I have a certain flair for it. I've renovated several homes, done stucco, rag roller painting, and many specialized types of painting. A friend of a friend introduced me to a nice older man who was doing up houses and flipping them, (before the economy hit the toilet that is). He needed someone to paint a few rooms, and do a special painting on one wall in the front room. He was willing to pay cash so I thought what the heck, I could use the extra cash and I needed to get out of the house.

The job seemed easy enough, and quickly spread to more specialized murals and paintings. Initially except for another fella doing repairs I was alone in the big Victorian house which suited me fine. I needed time to think, time to heal, and time to accept my rather odd behaviour over the last year and a half. It was late September and I was loving every minute of it, and then I met Tom.

Tom, Tom the painter man

Now Tom was one of two jack of all trades hired after the major repair guy left. Tom was funny, sweet, kind and had those devil blue eyes my grandmother always warned me about. While I appreciated his wit, I wasn't looking for anyone. Looking back I think I was flattered, I was after all dressed in painting clothes, hair in a ponytail and no make-up whatsoever for the two weeks we worked together.

Job over, I thought that would be it. I gave Tom my number but didn't think anything of it. First week of October he called and we went to a very nice restaurant and gosh darn it if he didn't scrub up just fine. I was actually really enjoying his company, thinking that maybe, just maybe I would see him again when he pulled the, "I-left-my-wallet-at-home-by-accident", routine.

Now this was just not dandy! I paid the rather large bill, refused an offer of a drive home and went home via cab in a tiff! I was also starving! It was one of those fancy schmanzy places where charging exorbitant amounts of money for a wee little dinner is the very thing. Fuming I decided to never see him again.

Several weeks later

Tom called and apologized for the dinner fiasco. I was initially cool at the time, after all he had taken several weeks to call me, never mind offering to at least refund me half the money. He wanted to take me to see a house he and his Dad were renovating and to see if I wanted to do some more painting work. I had some other things on the go and didn't need the work or him! Yet he pressured and pressured for me to see this house.

I was already feeling run down. Something kept tickling away at the back of my mind about the day, but for the life of me I couldn't imagine what it was. So I decided to go, and give him back some CD's I had borrowed from the painting job. In retrospect I should have stayed home.

Impending doom October 28, 2008

Tom's initial charm at seeing me last a full four minutes. I'll remember this until the day I die, because I remember thinking that I had never seen anyone's mood change so quickly, (I would later find out he was a hard closet drinker). It took him exactly four minutes, to pick an argument with me about hearing while he was away I was seeing someone else (wasn't true) and how could I betray him!!! (we were not together). I told him to pull over to the side of the road.

He starting screaming at me, and that's when I knew I not only had an addictive personality on my hand, but someone who quite likely was already somewhat intoxicated. I tried to get out of the car only to have him use the automatic lock function to keep me in. No worries, we were on a busy main street, so I fished my cell phone out, only to have him knock it out of my hand and yell and yell non-sensical things at me.

Enough. I'm not prone to panic and I was just furious. I should have waved madly to passers by, or at least have insisted he open the door, but then I noticed while he was screaming at me that the sky was the strangest color....all yellow..not smog...not exactly storm like....but very yellow. And then I noticed the song, Bostons, 'More than a feeling'.

The car crash and aftermath

Now Bostons song has a long history with me, and that was the second time that day I had heard it. I didn't really have time to ponder this, I just remember the sky being so yellow...Tom yelling some more....Tom pulling a U-turn.....and then a SMASH, incredible pain and waking up in the hospital.

We had been hit head on, on the passenger's side by a speeding half tonne truck, or as more commonly known we were t-boned. The car was a write off, Tom sustained a couple of stitches to the head, a sprained wrist and a broken pinkie finger. I had minor whiplash, concussion and a shattered nose, requiring two and a half hours of surgery. I should have been dead.

Now it is at this point in the story, one would hope that Tom would actually have practiced some decency. I have learned that Leopard's do not change their spots. On day two, ready to be released from hospital, he staggered into my room while I was semi asleep, again listening to the Boston song and bandaged with two big black eyes.

"You look awful. I'll come back when your looking better".

Not are you all right....not I am so! Enough

I really really was aiming for his head. In my tranquilizer induced state the silver (unused) vomit bowl next to me took flight from my left hand and did this downward spiral thingy. And then there was screaming! Lots and lots of four lettered words....stuff about the lack of future children....and future pleasures of the flesh being potentially ruined.

I remember thinking, 'Gotcha' and fell back asleep.

The cat and the stitches

Months go by, and winter kicks in. I start a documentary film project and forget about Tom as I heal. We have a brief exchange of views after I file an insurance claim for injuries. Gasp! The man had no insurance and the accident was his fault. I decide to pursue a personal claim (still waiting) and get on with my life. And gosh darn it if the plastic surgeon hadn't given me one heck of a cute nose!

And then, in the dead of winter Tom showed up at my door. Now in retrospect it should have been locked but this is the trailer park. He let himself in, drunk and surly and demanded back his CD's (I'd forgotten about those). I was so stunned to find him in my kitchen I just told him I would get the CD's, (in my head I was thinking I just wanted him out of my home fast!)/

It took me a bit to find them in my room. I was just about to return when I heard this wailing? no screaming, and when I opened the door Tom was jumping up and down on one leg his hand over his privates, and that's when I saw it. My darling little six pound cat was leaping at his privates and gosh darn it if she didn't get him again!

Tom screamed, I screamed, grabbed the dog and ran back into my bedroom and locked the door. I think my first reaction was that he must have done something to the cat, which later proved to be untrue. All of a sudden the screams got louder, the door and door frame came crashing down (good think I wasn't right behind it) and Tom was on his knees screaming and screaming with no kitty in sight.

The aftermath

Not only did I get stuck with the ambulance bill, it also cost me $90 to repair the door frame and have the door re-hung. Tom required two stitches in his er...testicle and kitty required....well nothing really but it did take her weeks to get back to normal. The police came out (at Tom's request) to see the "dangerous animal", I was harboring.

They laughed. I laughed. I still to this day have no idea why my angel would attack except she sensed the Dude's bad karma. She never attacked before or since. You would think the end to this precarious relationship would be here, but no, the Dude had to act up again. Drunk and surly with stitches in his testicle he called me on the phone to tell me what he thought of me.

'What you need is perspective', I replied sweetly. 'It is after all only two stitches'.

He ranted, he raved, he came up with some unusual and ungentlemanly suggestions as to how in his injured state I could make him feel better, which I quickly declined. Finally absolutely fed up (had I not suffered the shattered nose?) I said.

'If you don't get lost, I will have to put a hex on you'.

I was only joking :-) But gosh darn it if the Dude didn't fifteen minutes later fall down the stairs and break two toes!

I try to reassure myself it probably happenned because he was already on crutches on account of the stitches :-)

In the end

I'm still waiting for compensation.
I never saw Tom again.
He made quite a few nasty telephone calls and today, some several years later he's still mad. I've learned we can't control someone else's behaviour and sometimes people come into our life who do a complete 360, send us reeling and make us question things to our core.

I've learned that's okay too. For its when we hit rock bottom like I did when I met Tom, that we truly find our strength.

The email today, out of the blue read, "Had you been in the garden of Eden Melissa, you would have been the Serpent".

Well at least I would not have been the apple :-)

And maybe thats all that matters.


Funny Cat Story, Funny Experience, Funny Guy Story, Funny Story, Funny True Experience, Life Experience, Life Lessons, True Experience

Meet the author

author avatar Melissa Dawn
I have been writing ever since I can remember, and currently focus my attention on articles, how to guides and e-books. Check out my group e-book at

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author avatar Songbird B
17th Mar 2011 (#)

Mel, I can't believe the bad luck (Guys) that find you, but you have the greatest ability to tell us the story...I am crying with laughter at this sorry tail..oops, sorry, maybe that should have been tale...I am so glad that you are a pure survivor my friend...Loved this share, and hope the heart healed ok....

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author avatar Denise O
17th Mar 2011 (#)

All and all, I think you came out on top. Yes you had to have surgery but, you did say you got a cute nose out of it and the idiot is well, still a idiot loser. Love the kitty, give the kitty a treat from me and say thank you. I enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Melissa Dawn
17th Mar 2011 (#)

THanks guys and life of course did get much better :-) And kitty gets lots of treats.

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author avatar Dafeenah
17th Mar 2011 (#)

Wow that is all I can manage to say. You are so much nicer and patient than me. I don't know if I could have tolerated him the way you did.

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author avatar Alexandra Heep
18th Mar 2011 (#)

Wow, thank goodness your kitty was alright! Well, physically lol

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author avatar Rathnashikamani
12th Apr 2011 (#)

I hope you may see Tom again!

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author avatar Bridgitte Williams
1st Jan 2012 (#)

Mercy me, what a story. :-) I love cats...LOL. Yep, love hurts...hehe and that cat was smart. Enjoyed the story. HUGS!

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