Those Lost Years Part One

CarolStarred Page By Carol, 1st Sep 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Short Stories

Back in 1966 the morals and values of society were not as they are now. This is Karen's story, read on to find out more.

Those Lost Years

1966 wasn't just the year that Britain won the world cup, it was also the year that Karen got pregnant at just 16 years old. By the time she realised it was true, she had split up with Greg, and he had moved on to someone else. But her heart hadn't moved on, he was her first love, and the pain of losing him had been immense. The thought of telling her parents her dilemma was terrifying to her, Dad would never understand, she was his Princess, and she knew how disappointed and hurt he would be. He would say she had let him down.

As for mum, she would worry about what the neighbours thought, if they had still been together her parents would have insisted that he did the decent thing and married her, but Greg was with Sophie now, he didn't love her, and the pain of having to accept that was more than anyone could possibly understand. She was just over 3 months now, and she knew that soon her waist would be thickening, and she would start to show. She had only just left school, and was working in the library, but she wouldn't keep the job when they knew, she was certain. No-one had encouraged her to go into 6th form at school, and later onto University, if she had been a boy it would have been different, but her role in life was to find the right person, get married, and then have a family , but not to have a baby out of wedlock, and bring shame on her family.

Karen wanted to keep her baby, no matter how hard it would be , if only her parents would say to hell with what other people thought, and remember this baby was their grand child. As far as she was concerned, it was all she had left to remind her of her time with Greg, and it was conceived in love, even if the love was all on her side. She had even contemplated bringing it up on her own if her parents didn't want to know, but despair swept through her when she thought about it all, she had nowhere to go, and no-one to help her.

But this news had to be shared

So she told her mother, and the reaction was just as she had expected. When her mother had dried her tears of anger, she began to plan the best way of keeping it a secret, no-one would know, not even her father, because he would feel so let down. She had to leave work immediately, and her mother would tell them she had pneumonia, and was going to stay with an aunt in the country until she was better. That part would be true, her mother's sister Milly lived in the midst of Suffolk, and nearby was a mother and baby home. This is where her baby would be born, and after six weeks it would be adopted, and Karen would come home and resume life again as though nothing had happened.

Karen wept and pleaded, but it made no difference. How could they expect her to give up this new little life that was growing inside her every day? But her mother was adamant, this news could rip their lives apart, and as for Karen, didn't she realise that no man would want to marry her if she had an illegitimate child.? Her mother warned her not to share this news with anyone, if there was no possibility of Greg marrying her, then he didn't deserve to know about his child, only themselves and Aunt Milly would know, and after the baby was adopted, they would never speak about it again.

Before she knew it, her case was packed, and she was on the train to Suffolk, and aunt Milly was waiting for her at the tiny village station when she arrived. During the next six months, she was treated kindly, and her mother phoned regularly, just to make sure she was ok. How she managed to keep her father from visiting his Princess that supposedly was trying to recover from pneumonia, Karen never knew, and didn't bother to ask. Try as she might to understand, Karen had felt when her mother sent her away, that a bit of her love towards her mother had died too, she may have done wrong in their eyes, but she hadn't murdered anyone,and this was their grand child.

Her baby was born

Karen could never forget the day she gave birth. When she held the tiny finger, and gazed into her daughter's blue eyes, she marvelled that she had given birth to such a perfect little being. The pain of childbirth didn't worry her, it was the pain of giving up this beautiful little girl, who nestled in her arms so warm and snug, just as though it was meant to to be.

After six weeks, it was even worse, the bonding had been intense, although she had tried to resist, the feeling of wanting to love and protect this little girl she had called Laura was strong. Her anguish as the day for the adoption came round, this baby who was so small and vulnerable was going to be taken away from her, this baby that had been conceived out of her deep love, and grown in her body for nine months, and she had no say in it!

She couldn't eat or sleep, and nobody seemed to care, rules were rules, and parents had to be obeyed, so on that last morning she dressed her precious Laura in the pink outfit she had knitted for her, and wrapped her snuggly in a blanket, and whilst she was doing all this, the tears were streaming down her face, and that tiny finger came out to grasp hers , as if Laura knew how she felt.

Something inside her was urging her to take her baby and run, but the reality was she had nowhere to run to, nobody could help her, so with such pain in her heart that she felt she would choke with emotion, she gave up her beautiful daughter for adoption. That last morning was to haunt her for ever, her guilt affected her life for a long time, and although the secret was always kept from her father, Karen never felt as close to her mother again, and they never spoke about " her dirty secret." It may have been buried by her mother, but the pain lingered in Karen's heart.

TO BE CONTINUED
Those Lost Years part two
Those lost years part three

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Tags

1966, Adopted, Baby, Boy Friend, Dad, Heartbreak, Karen, Love, Morals, Mother, Mother And Baby Home, Pregnant, Regret Pain, Values

Meet the author

author avatar Carol
I am a proud mother and grandmother, and an author. I have had 7 books published. My hobbies are walking, swimming, and playing badminton. I try to raise more awareness of autism with my writing.

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Comments

author avatar Stella Mitchell
1st Sep 2013 (#)

Thank you dear Carol for this first episode of your story ...I shall look forward to the next part with great anticipation my friend .
Bless you
Stella ><

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author avatar Carol
2nd Sep 2013 (#)

I am glad you liked it Stella

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
2nd Sep 2013 (#)

most interesting read Carol and you do find the most handsome young men!!!

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author avatar Carol
2nd Sep 2013 (#)

Yes he's dishy isn't he Carolina. Thanks for reading

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
2nd Sep 2013 (#)

Thank you Carol for putting Whitney Houston!

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author avatar Carol
2nd Sep 2013 (#)

It's a lovely song isn't it. Thanks for reading

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author avatar Connie McKinney
2nd Sep 2013 (#)

Thanks, Carol. looking forward to part two!

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author avatar Carol
2nd Sep 2013 (#)

I am glad you liked it Connie

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author avatar Trillionaire
5th Sep 2013 (#)

Very beautiful.

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author avatar Carol
5th Sep 2013 (#)

Thank you Trillionaire

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author avatar M G Singh
6th Sep 2013 (#)

Great post

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author avatar Carol
6th Sep 2013 (#)

Glad you liked it Madan

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author avatar Retired
6th Sep 2013 (#)

Truly sad story Carol. While I may not know the pain of giving up a child, the pain still lingers in my heart for Karen. Great story.

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author avatar Carol
6th Sep 2013 (#)

Yes it's very sad Starrleena, thanks for reading.

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author avatar Carol
6th Sep 2013 (#)

Yes it's very sad Starrleena, thanks for reading.

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author avatar Delicia Powers
6th Sep 2013 (#)

Very haunting story- and well rush over to part two...thank you Carol- you are truly an amazing author my friend...!

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author avatar Carol
6th Sep 2013 (#)

Glad you like it Delicia.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
9th Sep 2013 (#)

Giving up a child for adoption for any parent especially for the mother will be traumatic and leaves lifelong mental scars. I too can feel the pain that Karen went through. I will look up the second part - siva

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author avatar Carol
9th Sep 2013 (#)

Thank you Siva, there are 3 parts in all.

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