Victims of unfortunate circumstances

Prienderen Moodley By Prienderen Moodley, 9th Apr 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Columns & Opinions

Looks at how divorce affects the children of the world. Takes an indepth look at what changes children go through when faced with their parents divorcing or even the prospect of their parents divorcing.

Divorce - an ugly but often unavoidable disaster

It is a nightmare for adults but a disaster for children. No child wants to hear that their parents will be splitting up. It is a death knell to their ears. The shock, fear, hurt and anger that children feel cannot be measured. Children start to blame themselves for this terrible tragedy. Their moods become irratic, social life as well as school activities and grades start to drop alarmingly. They start to go into their shells and may rebel against and distrust and disrespect their elders, especially their parents.

They begin to lose their excitement in life. Interest is lost in most of their activities, including those that they would normally find exciting like playstation or facebook or the school dance. Close relationships tend to drift further and further away until ther are no close or meaningful relationships left. Trust begins to fade because the negative emotion caused by the pending divorce starts to take over, which causes these children to become increasingly paranoid.

These children's personalities change for the worse as they become impossible to get close to. Their usual friendliness turns into contempt which is shown to every one, no matter what the intentions are, innocent or not. Sleep patterns take a pounding as nightmares and worry about the divorce cause their daily routines to be disrupted. Meal times are irregular or even completely forgotten as their appetites shrink considerably. Poor social habits such as smoking or drinking or even drugs become part of their new daily routine.

They begin to exhibit poor decision making including the choice of drug addicts, drug dealers,alcoholics, criminals or sexual and physical abusers as friends. In extreme cases children may even attempt suicide depending on how hurt they are by the divorce and how close they were to their parents and how much they relied on their parents staying together to create a stable family.

Whatever the reactions of the children it is vital not to ignore them. These situations are never going to sort it out by themselves. The important thing is that the family unit stays unified and strong even after the divorce. The reason for the divorce must be made known to the children and slowly but surely the divorce needs to be discussed gradually until the children have accepted and are okay with the divorce. Things need to be done together as a family even if it means discussing the divorce together to show the children that the family is still unified. The children need to see and feel that they will still be close to both parents even after the divorce. After all divorce may be tragic but it is necessary when parents can no longer live with each other.


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Meet the author

author avatar Prienderen Moodley
Writing is about the heart, I want to touch peoples' hearts about something important like love. If something touches the heart, it makes it thought provoking.

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