What's In a Friend?

Empathuse By Empathuse, 6th May 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Society & Issues

An outline of what I believe friendships should be, as well as what they should not be. If you know people struggling to understand what a friendship truly is, perhaps you can present this as a mirror for them to bounce their worrisome questions off in reflection.

What's In a Friend?

Got friends? Are you sure?

I believe there is a distinct difference between true friends and what most people these days consider to be friends. The difference? Most "friends" are really just acquaintances, or circumstantial friends. A true friend knows who YOU are, not who they want you to be, and will not do ANYTHING to try and change who you are. A true friend will not lead you into troubling situations, unless they inform you of the trouble beforehand and need your help to get through it. True friends will respect each other, always and in every way, even if they disagree with each other or have contrary beliefs. A true friend will not hide ANYTHING from you, and therefore will never have to lie to you. A true friend will want what's best for you in seeing through YOUR eyes, not what they think is best for you. A true friend will understand if you are too busy to talk, and will be able to pick you back up like it was yesterday even after years of not speaking.

Circumstantial friends will ditch you at the first sign of trouble or for something "more entertaining." They will push you to do things with them or for them when they know you would not want to. They will usually only talk to you when you're needed for something, or when it's convenient for them. They will treat you different when with other people than when you're alone with them. They will tell you one thing, and then tell others something completely different. They "collect" friends to help them feel wanted and popular.

If a friend breaks your trust, they must EARN it back. We can trust anyone with certain things, but only our closest friends deserve the higher, more personal levels of trust. Repairing trust is like religion's "repentance." It's not about the "I'm sorry," but more about the actions that follow that apology.

So count again. How many friends do you have?

I say it's better to have a small handful of true friends than a plethora of circumstantial friends! Next time you feel alone, or unwanted, or like you need to be more popular, think of all the drama and trouble you're avoiding by not collecting excess friends. Appreciate the true friends you have (even if you only have one!), because TRUE friends are hard to come by!

Lastly, but perhaps most important: be grateful for the only friend that will never leave you; yourself.


Betrayal, Caring, Friendship, High School, Love, Popularity, Self-Awareness, Self-Discovery, Superficial

Meet the author

author avatar Empathuse
Don't ask my favorite anything; Equanimity steers me well. A love for Nature and Life drives my passion to pursue enlightenment, and heal and inspire the world.

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