Why I Left The Tribe

envisage By envisage, 8th Jun 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Letters

Shocking Realities and Remiders of all the reasons that I once had left the tribe. Strengthening confictions, critical mass. Some walls are not worth the climb. Moving on.


Decades have passed. We have all settled into our own little corners; some of which have morphed into "clicks". I am no different in that we are all doing the best we know how. A text to my mother today said it best. "I remember now why I left the Tribe."
This is some of my perspective on my deflated efforts to maintain the family bond. My first and most natural question after receiving a blunt but extremely incomplete statement from my mother was, Is there hope? He is fading fast so please hurry. Come and see him she said. Naturally my heart begins to race. Not for fear of missing our goodbyes but for his innate desire to live. After finally arriving, a relative tells me, he might be home by Monday. My Aunt was cleaning his mouth from the infection he'd received from a reaction to his medication. She turns toward me with an expression of shock, hestitates and says to me; Yes we want to make him more comfortable. He would be more comfortable there.
Another Aunt quickly calls to me and guides me to the kitchen area to explain to me in more detail what is taking place. My concern is obviously his health and well being. I not once accepted that Hospice and certain death where synonomous. She says to me Hospice is usually where people come to die. Her wording suggested hope. "Usually" to me means not always. Not always means hope. I ask then so is there hope? She says to me no, it doesn't look good.
I then ask my mother, what are his ailments? Why is he faiding? What is the cause? He had pneumonia a month before and his immune system was weakend. He now has E.coli and his kidneys are fading fast because of that.
Three days had passed and signs looked good. I began to believe he was getting well, It didn't register that there was no food supply, no get well signs, no intravenuous tubes at all. I began to imagine there must be a solution to the nasties e.coli could bring. Knowing full well that the FDA and other Governement Funded Programs withhold intentionally cures for many things. I began to tool around for answers on the net as I have had great success with this in the past. Low and behold I found a clue to what might be the "miracle cure". At the time I was home and so didn't think twice to send the info out on the web with the intention of gaining more truths.
Thinking I was saving the day, I returned once again the hospice with passion for life. I text my mother again and explained that the info I found was held back by the Feds and that this could help bring back the one man that in my mind held the key to glue that was once such a proud and loving tree. To find my life threated by my favorite aunts husband as well as foul words from she. Baffled and bewildered I said please explain, she comes back with I'm not saying a thing. Why bring it up if your not going to talk? why are you threatening me? You haven't Picked him up off the floor every time. Your not smart enought to understand. Things sort of cooled off and I soon left the place, without a goodbye or have peace.
As I exit the building my father pulls up and I stopped to share with him this news. I tell him about the threats I'd recieved and we talk of the rational stuff. He couldn't connect with the families detest and the fixation on solutions for death. He explain and agreed with life and with me before I could explain my whole view. Relieved that we share the same innate perspective on bringing lifes cards to the front. We couldn't quite grasp the need for defense when a clear explaination was all that was asked.
The brother-in-law responds to my post suggesting the answers he found where best. Just google the question its all over the net. Its well known to be for the skin. I'd found my info from youtube cause its also well known that people who learn things will sure let you know. He insisted that Just because someone had told me something that gives me permission to share. I said...Permission? Why do I need permission to post information that potentially supports life over death? This is coming from a devout pro-lifer I must add.
The next thing I get is a letcure from my cousin who insists that shes not judging me. She explains that she more of a person of action and I am a person of words. She not holding it against me but thats how it is. And her love is stronger for grandpop because her mom hasn't stopped and she's been by his side her whole life as an adult.
I have worked my whole life since maybe 3 years ago as an athelete, a marine a contractor and more. All physical action. All with intention I've been all action since I was 4. I've injuries now in my knee and my back so I've spent some time learning new things. Her comments are irrelivent her drive is misdirected and her logic is out the door. Next she tells me that its not about money. No one will be gaining from his death. We love him more and she began to explain that this is why we not letting you in. I said that my love for my grandpop is not something I'd ever keep score. Claiming her family is something else and that I am not a part of. I said That I'd always thought of as a one and she explained that we were in fact family but that the score card did truely exist. Its not about money she said. Money? Huh?
No one told me he'd decided to quit and thats why the guilt did exist. If it weren't for something other than money or exhaustion for responsibility then why all the guilt and the hush hushery. If he'd wanted to die than just say. Instead you threaten me because I post a suggestion to support what you insist to keep vauge. True colors come out and disolve all the doubt. No more need for between all the lines. Of course there is more and it didn't take long to realize, The vibes I was getting where memories of past reasons of why I have left the tribe long ago . There is more Love, Life, Logic and Magic to Life than they'll ever know. They'll fight to the death to defend the irrational. Tooth and Nail to defend ignorance. Elvis Has Left the Building. I have left the Tribe this time for good.


Change, Choices, Decision, Definate, Discussion, Evolution, Family, Gratitude, Growth, Ignorance, Learning, Motivation, Move On, Moving On

Meet the author

author avatar envisage
Interested in science , philosophy, health and wellness, longevity, community and the arts.

Share this page

moderator johnnydod moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know


Add a comment
Can't login?