You are Happy

Carol RoachStarred Page By Carol Roach, 11th Feb 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Personal Experiences

This story begins in my teenage years and continues to present day. It is about love and the lack of it.

Introduction

In high school that first year was hard and I found that I had a lot more homework than I did in elementary school. Sometimes I just didn't do it. I was a good girl though. When I didn’t do it it was because I did not understand how to do it.

Since I was such a good kid the teachers used to give me a few more days to do it.

The English assignment

One English assignment I put off because I did not quite understand it. I begged my teacher for extra time and he gave it to me but I still didn't know how to tackle it.

I convinced Harold who was good in English to let me see what he wrote. So he did.

The aftermath

I then wrote my paper adding his points and a few of my own and got a better mark than he did. He was so mad, that he never let me see his work again.
I don't really blame him to you?

I have another story I have written about Harold and I will include it here.

Not so good looking

At the time you came into my life, I pushed you away. You were not good-looking enough. My world revolved around finding the cutest boyfriend. My former love was drop-dead-gorgeous in my eyes. It made me feel so good that I could have someone so handsome. I knew my friends were jealous, and I felt superior every time one of them started dating a-not-so-good-looking guy.

You had so many qualities that in my youth I totally ignored. I did not see the soul hidden behind the otherwise average looking shell of a body. You were not well built; you were not drop-dead-gorgeous. But your heart was good. You would have given me the world and more. You were intelligent, witty (even though, at the time I found it annoying) and you were kind and gentle. I knew I hurt you when I shunned your attention. I knew you wanted us to build a life together. I could not see through my own bias. I could not see you!

I couldn't love you

Later, my drop-dead-gorgeous guy left for a drop-dead-gorgeous girl. You were still there for me waiting in the wings, ever patient, ever given. I cried on your shoulder, you comforted me. I monopolized your time with my foolish chatter still you listened and waited. You helped to build my spirit to the point that I could see through my pain and continue to live. You helped me to realize that I could love again. However you could not succeed in making me love you.

How did I repay you? I found another drop-dead-gorgeous guy and this time I married him. I never thought that after all the years we had together, that you would decide that it was time to make a life for yourself as well. I never anticipated that you would find somebody who wanted and loved you. I guess I felt that you would wait for me forever.

Conclusion

I later divorced the drop-dead-gorgeous guy and you continued to flourish in your marriage. You fathered a beautiful little girl who simply idolizes you. You are a good provider, husband, father, and friend. You are happier than I ever had known you to be. And when I saw how happy you were, I finally realized my foolish error. But it was too late and I remained silent.

Today, I am divorced. You need not weep for me, for I finally have found the right man for me. I never told you how bad I felt for taking advantage of your friendship, how bad I felt for dismissing you, and spurning your love. Today I apologize for being so self-centered that I could not see the beauty in you. But I am happy that you finally found the woman who could care for you as much as you care for her and how much you at one time cared for me. I am happy you are happy and I wish that we could be friends once more. There are so many things that I would do different this time around if only I had not sealed that door forever.

All photos from Wikimedia Commons
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Tags

Mature Love, Teen Love, Teenage Boy, Teenage Dating, Teenage Life, Teenage Love, Teenagers Grownup

Meet the author

author avatar Carol Roach
Retired therapist and author of two books, freelance writer, newsletter editor, and blogger. I write, health, mental health, women's issues, animal , celebrity, history, and SEO articles.

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Comments

author avatar Utah Jay
11th Feb 2015 (#)

We do so many things in our youth that we would never do now that we are older and wiser. Oh if only we knew it when we were young and in love with life...Another fantastic Article.

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author avatar viewgreen
12th Feb 2015 (#)

Great article and thank you for sharing this continuation page. Have a nice day madam.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
12th Feb 2015 (#)

It is a telling lesson for those with the door open still! Thanks Carol for this frank share that many can relate to - siva

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author avatar pinks11
12th Feb 2015 (#)

Beautiful

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