You are fat!!! - a perpetual sigma

Marzeus von Hemelen By Marzeus von Hemelen, 16th Oct 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Diaries

Once fat, you're always known as the fat person. Being fat is a sin and a crime in today's society, and slimming down after being fat doesn't mean you lose that label.

You are fat!!! - a perpetual sigma

Ah, we had a nice time in Cape Town, but we've flown back now and we're getting into the car to drive back from the airport.

Only thing is, as usual, when I come back from a vacation, I'm completely and totally exhausted. Other people go on vacation to recharge their batteries, but in my case I always end up so dead tired, I need to go back home for a vacation from my vacation, so I can recharge my batteries.

I'm dead tired honestly, because I can't say I slept that wonderful, and as I explained before, our Nautilus Rock apartment isn't really suitable for so many privacy-loving people and four little children.

While we are packing all our bags in the back of Father's new bakkie, we have a sort of half-hearted discussion about who should sit in the back. The children don't want to. Nobody else wants to either. We're too tired just to get in over all the suitcases. So, the end of it is that we just all get into the cabin.

It is a double cab bakkie, but still, we are seven people. We squeeze in real tight.

"Uncle Marzeus is too fat!", exclaims the youngest little girl who doesn't understand that she needs to move up so there's enough space for us all.

I don't know why but in my exhausted state, I feel like grabbing her little pony stick-on book and throw it out the window for that remark. (Yes, it's so full in the car, yet these blasted children MUST have their big box-book toys with them too.)

Mary, her mother, looks at me slightly embarrassed. "Luckily they are just children", she says.

Yeah, who cares, I still want to smack them all the hell out of the car. I'm so sick and tired of everybody still keeping the perception of me of being the fattest person in the world. I used to be overweight until about a year ago, but I have long shaked a ton or two and now I'm just normal.

But that doesn't stop everybody to just still think of me and call me the fattest person in the world. It's an absolute stigma that clings to me perpetually, whether I now slim down, get fat, be skinny, be normal, whatever; it's all the same - the stigma sticks.

Even Petros, now a big fat slob, still had the dumbness to push it; the day we celebrated Mother's birthday at a restaurant and came out of it, some of the people wanted to walk back home along the beach. Mother, Father and I drove so we could take Stingley's car home. But Petros had the idiocy to tell me "you're the one who needs it the most!", when they decided who would walk and who would ride.

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with these people. They have done nothing but emotionally harm me, and not supported me in any way, shape or form. Family can be the biggest curse in the world. But if I had to lose them I suppose I would be miserable too. I just can't win.

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Fat, Fatness, Fitness, Obesity, Once Fat Always Fat, Overweight, Stigma, Weight

Meet the author

author avatar Marzeus von Hemelen
I like eggs for breakfast. I live on top of a hill inside a beautiful but old dwelling complex. I like to take life in through my senses and then give feedback through my writing.

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