finally awake

hotcheetos By hotcheetos, 27th Jul 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/3__qy66v/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Fictional Verse

A poem about coming out of a toxic relationship and learning to love yourself again. Not only learning to love yourself but find yourself and discover what your wants and needs are so you do not end up in the same type of relationship again.

finally awake

it is finally over
I am finally awake
I am free
I can see everything
much more clearly
now that the smoke
and mirrors are gone
now that there is some distance
and time
between us
I sacrificed who I am
to be with you
I let you control me
manipulate me
a dog on a leash
but that is okay
all the walls you built
to keep yourself safe
will one day come crashing down
and when that day comes
I will no longer be around
I will be far
far away
it comes full circle
I begin where we end
I feel almost nothing
except a subtle disappointment
and anger
not at you
at myself
I knew this day would come
because
the more you take
the less you become
and it slowly
became too much for me to take
I let myself be marginalized
I let myself be disrespected
I let myself become less
I tried to believe the lies
and live with the half truths
but the whole time
my head was at war with my intuition
I knew
somewhere deep down inside
something was not right
and then it happened
I suddenly realized
I did not want to be with you anymore
it was as though something
or someone
had reached into my heart
and flipped a switch
something inside of me
had been turned off
disconnected
the almost overwhelming feeling
of wanting you was gone
it had unceremoniously got up
put on its hat and coat
and walked out the door
I don't think it will ever come back
and there is a great sense of relief in that

Tags

Poem, Poetry

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author avatar hotcheetos
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Comments

author avatar Lady Aiyanna
1st Aug 2017 (#)

Ever been in one Cheetos (its an edible in India BTW)???? I have been. You never really come out of it and you never love again and you need reassurance that the one you want is true and 99.9% they are not and for the way I am, always at a distance, its more likely as no then if ever.
Have had my share of offers and declined them all as they are deceitful.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
1st Aug 2017 (#)

I am happier alone. Learnt it the hard way but the happiest now. Phew, that is one out of the box and flung out. It was my one and only relationship too.

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