five days without sleep and counting

hotcheetos By hotcheetos, 31st Jul 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/1xdqt--j/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Fictional Verse

A somewhat nonsensical poem about what happens when you have insomnia and you start to feel like you are going to lose your mind if you do not get at least a few hours of sleep.

five days without sleep and counting

this is an unmitigated disaster
I finally caught
what I had been chasing after
now it comes down to apathy
because I'm out of sympathy
this is where I learn
an important life lesson
there is a big difference
between what you want
and what you need
if you don't like it
then don't buy it
and stop trying to sell it to me
why does it all feel so distant
so strange
without a sound
I drift around
inches above the ground
when you have insomnia
nothing feels real
it feels as though
you have fallen deep
deep
into the cave of an old man's eyes
I walk up
I run down
before falling
to the ground
on my back
dazed but not confused
as I watch the clouds
up there
I see a boat
and there
a train
then a plane
all hanging out together
up in the bright sky
no one can tell me why
all my hopes
fragile as crystal
all my lovers
hiding under my covers
it must have something to do
with the distance between me and you
a waking dream
makes me want to scream
as I start to see
goldfish
in tiny little bumper cars
lazily circling around
crashing into one another
once in a while
one smiles
and waves at me
they play in and out
of my sleepless head
connected
but somehow apart
this dream
brushes softly
against my trembling lips
this dream
pushes eagerly against me
with its willing hips
I close my eyes
try to disengage
try to feel my heartbeat
as the mirror
above the sink
reflects something strange
unrecognizable
and slightly deranged
images from the past
stumble and tumble
it won't last
it won't last
I say
before turning away
and everything goes blank
later
I find myself
standing in the rain
clutching a broken phone
as she calls me from the road
a bloated
lumpy toad
its eager bulging eyes
follow a fly
defying gravity
space and time
walking a tight rope
between the two halves of my brain
this must be what it is like
to slowly go insane
I whisper into the phone
"how did you find me?"
she softly purrs
"never mind that
I'm coming to take you back"
do I have to beg her
not to do this to me
oh my poor
poor heart
like a spoiled
unfeeling child
she tore you all apart

Tags

Poem, Poetry

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