iPad junkie freak show delight

Marzeus von Hemelen By Marzeus von Hemelen, 22nd Oct 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Diaries

Some people have a talent for being freaky. They can't help it. It's like a curse or something.

Water thrown on baby's forehead

This afternoon we're visiting Moo's family. Moo has just baptised her baby girl, Moonica, and now they're having a little get-together with the family in the church hall.

Wow, the whole hall is decorated beautifully; I didn't know Moo has so many friends that she can fill up a whole hall with them!

Oh wait, she tells me it's looking this good because another function went on here yesterday, and they just kept all the decorations up for the function we're having now. And we'll only be filling out three tables.

The food is so delicious! I must say I'm having the time of my life here today! Or the time of the month at least. Sometimes I'm just not in a jolly enough mood to enjoy socializing with people, but today I'm really enjoying myself with them.

It's raining iPads, hallelooney!

Carricalida, FiggyJnr.'s wife, has a new ipad.

Now Figgyand Carricalida were having extreme money problems last I knew of, so how can they afford this brand new ipad?

Figgytells me they got it for free from First National Bank when they moved their chequeing account there. I'm not sure if I believe that; it's probably just a story they came up with so that they don't lose people's sympathies and financial help if people see that they buy ipads with their money. But maybe a bank did give it to them for free.

Carricalida is addicted to the bloody thing. She keeps filming video with her ipad of everybody and everything, even during the table prayer. It's an impressive piece of technology, but honestly people with ipads I always associate with wannabees, especially if people have no money for food or rent but god forbid if they don't have the latest iphones, ipads and ipods.

Carricalida, a legend of sorts

Carricalida is a very interesting person. She comes from a... odd family. One may say a broken home. When FiggyJnr. first started going out with her... or wait, did they just marry? It was one of those very quick decisions. Carricalida was thrown out of her home by her parent/s and Figgy took her in. Then married her.

And no, seems it's not because she was pregnant because they don't have a child after these bunch of years of being married.

Mother and Waldorf gave them a brand spanking fantastic wedding and reception on Tower Hills. I filmed the video. Damn good work I did. That was some years ago.

Anyway, since then it seemed Carricalida has some psychological baggage, and has been for therapy a few times after breakdowns. She's also always been a bit loud and funny in the company of people; in fact she didn't know how to behave in the company of other people and would always say the strangest things, like one time while we were all at the table, she told us very jollylike how "cute" her husband's nipples are, "such small ones" she says.

Then she wanted to lift up his shirt and show us, but he then chastized her saying "NOT AT THE TABLE!". She then looked very down for a while. Until she became her silly self again in a second or two.

So yeah her personality was something that would scare someone who doesn't know her, but if you've known her for a while like we have now, you learn that she's just... like that.

There was a time she and Figgy just bought dogs. They didn't have money but they bought dogs. More and more dogs. They later had to get rid of some dogs. They only have five now. Only. Geez.

I remember one time at Figgy's brother's wedding, a lot of Figgy's friends were standing outside the reception hall, and Figgy and his wife Carricalida were also there. Her and me got into a kind of sensational challenge of wits and then physical violence. Everybody else got such a fright that they all fled. They are all a bit... wary of Carricalida, and afraid that she might get a bit loud or aggressive.

So yeah, Carricalida is full of sh*t but if you learn how to handle her, she does have her charms. Sometimes.

It may be just my imagination though, or not likely my imagination, but it does seem to me like FiggyJnr. does sometimes grow a bit silent after his wife keeps acting insanely silly when they're having conversations with other people. Like now. It seems he might be embarrassed at times when his wife is so loud and silly.

You no more filmographicals?

One of the things she said now was to me, "Howcome you don't make movies anymore? I still wanted to act in one of your films." (Some months ago FiggyJnr. called me and told me of a videography job he might have found for me, but I then told him that I'm not into the field of videography anymore.)

"I do still do my own projects. It's videography I don't do anymore.", I respond.

The rest of her performance is kind of a blur, but she then throws these wild poses while going on with far more energy than the atmosphere at the table should allow:

"I want to put on a few fig leaves, and Figgy must also be in the movie and we'll put him in a little waist skin, and then we can ... " (do this and this; I can't quite recall all her ramblings and musings and quick talk and wave of ideas here.)

Sounds to me like they want to appear quite naked.

"I don't think you quite have the right impression of the kind of movies I make", is all I can say to her when her ideas become a bit too... raunchy or saucy or insane :).

I'll just photograph you with this

I take out my cellphone and hold it up in her general direction. Instantaneously, she jumps into model/actress mode, throwing poses like some sort of Marilyn Monroe crossed with the Energizer bunny.

It works like magic! Whenever I seem to concentrate on the phone and hold its backside up in her direction, she becomes this performing supermodel.

That's one thing we can actually say about Carricalida - she is VERY photogenic. I saw that when I made their wedding video.

After some time of this, she's all curious.

"Can I see them?"

"See what?", I ask.

"The photos! Let me see!"

"Oh," I reply, "this phone doesn't have a camera."

The table bursts out roaring with laughter.

A lovely time!

Anyway, I must say I quite enjoyed the afternoon with the old family again.

I hope FiggyJnr. didn't feel too embarrassed because of his wife, but he needn't feel embarrassed because of me.

I may be a serious person most of the time, but I like watching some freak show some of the time, as only Carricalida can provide. I wouldn't want to go home with that, as he must, and be in its company all his life, but I rather enjoy getting a dose of Carrica-Comedy now and again.

All in all, a very enjoyable afternoon. Oh yes, and Moo's husband finally recently got a job in this country, and he's looking a completely different person today, with confidence and holding his head high. I'm so glad for them. Now they can work for that baby's future like slaves. Ain't life glorious. Really, it is. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic.

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Camera, Cellphone, Computer, Computer Tablet, Freak, Funny, Funny Moment, Ipad, Photo, Tablet

Meet the author

author avatar Marzeus von Hemelen
I like eggs for breakfast. I live on top of a hill inside a beautiful but old dwelling complex. I like to take life in through my senses and then give feedback through my writing.

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author avatar Lesa Cote
8th Feb 2020 (#)

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