mr. wiener man

hotcheetos By hotcheetos, 8th Aug 2016 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/1tvkvd_m/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Fictional Verse

A funny little poem about how crazy my imagination can be.

mr. wiener man

I was at a Kum & Go
there is a joke there
somewhere
if you think about it for a second
so there I am
gas nozzle in hand
filling my truck up
when I notice
this five foot tall
fiberglass
hot dog man
complete with skinny cartoon arms
and legs
and a grinning face
plastered at the top
of this huge bloated wiener
sandwiched between
an enormous hot dog bun
it's just standing there
staring out at the gas pumps
obviously an advertisement
for the primordial hot dogs
slowly rolling on an open cooker
inside the convenience store
waiting for unsuspecting
customers/victims to buy
and consume
I start musing about how
surprising it is
that the congregation
of the local church
hasn't marched down here
and dragged the thing
to the center of town
and burned it at the stake
because of its giant
phallic like
nature
what makes it even funnier is
it is standing there
with a mustard squeeze bottle
in one hand
and a ketchup squeeze bottle
in the other
its right arm
the one holding the ketchup
is raised over its head
looking as though
it is about to pour
a generous amount
of ketchup on its own noggin
while screaming
in a gleeful high pitched voice
“Eat me!”
never mind that I am
a Frankenstein conglomeration
of ground up hog's assholes
snouts
hooves
ears
and squiggly curly tails
I could picture it in my head
this giant fiberglass hot dog
suddenly coming to life
jumping off the store sidewalk
chasing screaming customers
around the gas pumps
as it squirts mustard
and ketchup on them
all the while yelling
in that freakishly
high pitched
and gleeful
yet maniacal voice
"You're gonna taste
sooooooooo
good!"

Tags

Poem, Poetry

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author avatar hotcheetos
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Comments

author avatar Mariah
13th Aug 2016 (#)

ha ha ha ..nice one

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