narcissist

hotcheetos By hotcheetos, 21st Jun 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/3_fa829t/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Fictional Verse

The only way to get over this is to get it out of me. I want to run away from here screaming and never look back. But I can't. I have to stay and soldier on.

narcissist

I've never dealt with a narcissist before, much
less been in love with one.
It's a hard bitter pill to have to swallow, realizing
that the person you loved never really loved
you back.
That this person was never emotionally
equipped to feel love or empathy.
I feel completely drained, both physically and
emotionally. I've never had someone treat me
as if I were a thing; an accessory and nothing
more.
I remember a line from a movie: "You can't go
around being all nice and friendly and flirting
with someone when you are clearly with someone
else. It's misleading. It's frustrating and it's not fair"
Superficial and shallow, she always kept things
on the surface. Afraid to dive too deep.
Afraid of what is down there. Afraid of what she
might see. It was not what I thought it would be.
She slowly drained the life out of me, with her
attention-seeking toward other men.
Her over flirtatiousness personality and excessive
need for approval. It didn't bother her to have
men say inappropriate things to her.
She invited it.
Where the hell was her self-esteem? Where was
her integrity?
All she showed me was egocentrism, self-centeredness,
self-indulgence and persistent manipulative behavior.
Always placing her wants before our needs.
I’m not going to let the thought that I could never be
enough for her haunt me. No man will ever be enough.
Her pain became my pain. Her hurt became my hurt.
I allowed her issues to become my issues.
Her need to be validated by other men was far greater
than any love she would ever be able to feel for me.
There was too much shame and un-forgiveness
inside of her.
She would never let me inside.
Her lack of truth is what cuts the deepest and how
she could believe her own lies.
I never really knew her. Even after three years.
She never showed me her true face. She was always
too afraid.
The little girl who was hurt so badly so long ago is
buried too deep.
I had no way of reaching her.

Tags

Poem, Poetry

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