the grand melee

hotcheetos By hotcheetos, 2nd Jan 2018 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry>Fictional Verse

Yes, this really did happen. Looking back on it, it makes me smile and sometimes even laugh.

the grand melee

a friend and I went to lunch
at a popular local diner
the property occupied by the diner
was recently purchased
and the diner will relocate
making way for expansion
of a local college campus
I had never been there
my friend said we should go
before the diner changed locations
it wasn't bad
I had a club sandwich with coleslaw
he had chicken fried steak
mashed potatoes
and fried okra
after lunch
on the way back to work
he wanted to stop at a convenience store
for something to drink
we went in
and I decided to get an icy
I headed back to the fountain drink area
my friend already had his drink
and was busy flirting with the girl behind the counter
a woman with five kids was back in the drink area
four of the kids were probably only a year or two apart in age
the fifth was in a stroller
I couldn't help but wonder
if this woman had ever not been pregnant
the kids were running everywhere
all talking at the same time
repeating their drink orders over and over and over
a crazy soda mantra
I was standing there
and it appeared as though
mom was getting ready to pull her hair out
I made a command decision
stepped up
asked the first youngster
a little girl
what she wanted
she immediately latched onto my leg
telling me what flavor drink she wanted
as I was trying to get it for her
another child
a little boy
grabbed my other leg
yelling out his drink order
and I do mean yelling
I filled cups as fast as I could
while the kids climbed all over me
I had become a piece of playground equipment
the whole time the woman is telling me thank you
other customers are doing their best
to work around this grand melee
some appeared amused
not so much
later I realized some of those people
probably thought those were my kids
that's right ladies and gentlemen
my woman is as fertile as the Napa Valley
the little girl
not only had her arms wrapped around my leg
she was standing with both of her feet on top of my foot
the little boy had a death grip on my slacks
and he was thrashing around
like a shark in a feeding frenzy
the other two kids were older
and a bit better behaved
I finally got all the kids lined out with their drinks
and mom herded them up to the counter
as they happily slurp away on their sodas
I walked up to the front of the store
where my friend was waiting for me
we walked out
and he looked at me
and asked
didn't you want something to drink
I stopped
in all the confusion
I had forgotten to get something for myself
I just smiled
and shook my head no
it was time to get back to work
and think about what it would be like
to part of the Walton's


Poem, Poetry

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