the person im becoming (poem about a girls life and the person shes becoming )

poemgur1980 By poemgur1980, 24th Nov 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2iw3t8d_/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

this poem is about a girl who has a bad relationship and realizes that by staying with this person how it takes a toll in her life

the person im becoming

sometimes i think about
what it takes to go on .
before i break inside which
wont be very long.

the life ive been living
all this time .
vanished within a second
and boy was i blind.

i cant believe you had me
in a way not seeing clear.
look at what things you been
hiding when ever i wasn't there .

what is it about me that can
make you want some one else.
what have i done to you that
can change the way you felt.

i cant over come this feeling
for you that lies inside my heart.
but i can tell you by being hurt
so much its tearing my life apart.

There's no explanation for
what I am going through .
i don't think any person at all
should feel the way i do.

innocent people doesn't
deserve to hurt.
by the ones who are self righteous
and treats them like dirt.

my love for you was so strong
without you knowing what you had.
you used every piece of love i gave
and turned it into bad.

you know how strong my belief was
about a person who lies.
I'm seeing a change in me now that I'm
starting to hate inside.

the end :Rebecca Elizabeth Pineda

Tags

Because Of You, Becoming, What Im Becoming, Who Am I, Who Are You

Meet the author

author avatar poemgur1980
my name is (Rebecca Elizabeth Jimenez) married name is (Pineda .)
Im 33 yrs old been writing poems since the age of 9 I write about feelings ,love,inspiration,hope all kinds of poetry

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Comments

author avatar Williamsji
24th Nov 2013 (#)

"There's no explanation for
what I am going through .
i don't think any person at all
should feel the way i do."

The above lines are being presented in the best melancholic expressions and inner feelings. I strongly suggest to rewrite with further more in depth with drastic and symbolic ways. The thread you bring is very effective , Regards WILLIAMSJI MAVELI

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author avatar Williamsji
25th Nov 2013 (#)

Dear Poetess Rebecca Elizabeth,
The word melancholy is used when a deep sadness governs over an emotion of love, depression etc. I strongly suggest to go through Christina Roseetti's melancholic poems. I can mail to you, the best from her works, Regards & Love from WILLIAMSJI MAVELI

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author avatar poemgur1980
24th Nov 2013 (#)

i have no idea what in depth drastic ,and symbolic can you help me .,

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author avatar poemgur1980
24th Nov 2013 (#)

whats melancholic

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author avatar Williamsji
25th Nov 2013 (#)

This word is used for deep sadness as an adjective or noun according to situations, Regards from WILLIAMSJI MAVELI
williamsji@yahoo.com

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author avatar Williamsji
25th Nov 2013 (#)

Poetry is the spontaneous flow of emotions according to William Wordsworth. I find lot of grief in your verses and words, Make it brief and crisp, so that these will shine like gems or diamond in literature. May God Bless your outstanding writings. Please get linked with my poetry site, scheduled to be launched on January 1st 2014. Regards & Love from WILLIAMSJI MAVELI

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