to love again

hotcheetos By hotcheetos, 22nd Mar 2018 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/ql87eieb/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Fictional Verse

Yes, this really happened. It took away an entire year of my life. A year I can never get back. But that was years ago and it made me stronger. And now I am happier than I have ever been.

to love again

when she walked out the door
my heart and soul turned to dust
the sun that was my world blinked out
I was left staggering
lost in the darkness
the absence of her light
I walked through the days
the weeks
the months
barely conscious of the people
and the things around me
shell shocked
dazed
barely able to breathe in
or breathe out
no words could comfort me
a terrible ache filled my chest
pain filled the space
where my heart had been
it was horrible
I could feel the pieces
of my broken heart
rattling around inside of me
like pieces of colored glass
now only razor sharp reminders
and remnants
of what my life had been
I could not eat
I could not sleep
I could barely think
I prayed for death
I begged God for it
through the terrible sleepless nights
my mind could barely cope
with what I was feeling
if I could have found the courage
I would have ended my life
God knows
I wanted to
death felt like my only escape
I kept setting deadlines
I would think to myself
if I do not start to pull out
of this spiral in another week or two
I'm going to end it
I did not care
how it would make anyone feel
I was walking around in a living hell
in time things slowly started to change
the pain lessened
breathing came easier
I was able to sleep a few hours a night
I could put food in my mouth without gagging
seeing her
talking to her
did not hurt quite as bad
then one day
I could not tell you exactly when
I knew I was going to make it
I knew I was past the worst of it
I knew that one day
I might be able to love again
now
I know
I can love again

Tags

Poem, Poetry

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