~heart attack~

WordWulfStarred Page By WordWulf, 23rd Apr 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Personal Experiences

~I’ve learned from near-death experiences that attempting to communicate & prepare to bid farewell to those we love & share our lives with is more difficult & painful by far than the physicality of dying itself~

~inside out~

I had a couple of heart attacks this week, scheduled for an angiogram Monday. Wanna sing some songs with my boyz, got half a dozen novels to work on, gotta finish the American Camp/Wounded Souls series, Momma’s Rain. It’s springtime & I’m looking at some badass Harleys & Bourgets to ride. Gotta show Kathy Denver, the streets & alleys I was raised in. I have an agenda & dying isn’t part of it yet. Need to ride/write it out, 8th & Federal, 5th & Broadway, I25 & I 36, Louisiana & Federal, 1st & Knox, should be pieces of me there to revisit, pieces I’ve tried to explain to these doctors, blood in/blood out.

~gown man down~

I wrote the above a couple of weeks ago. Doctors inserted a three inch stent because of ninety percent blockage in there somewhere. It was an amazing experience to lay there on my back, radioactive gook shot into my veins to create a tracking target for cameras while spider arms manipulated them to scan my errant throbbing gizzard, sending images & movies of my insides to sixteen giant flat-screen monitors.


The folks at Lutheran Hospital were very nice & professional while poking & threading needles into various parts of my body. They insisted I spend the night but wouldn’t give me anything to help me go to sleep so I stayed up all night. I’ve been in hospitals many times & find they’re reluctant to sedate me unless I pull out the ol’ rock & roll voice & slam them with a vindictive line of insults that would likely embarrass a rap star.


I didn’t have that kind of energy. Maybe I’m getting old, unwilling to harass nice folks even when they’re causing me pain & refusing me succor. I am definitely too old to be staying up all night. I spent most of last week dropping sleeping pills, squinting my eyes at the line of light under the door, imagined the ghost of myself passing, gathering with my Mother & GreatGrandMother Cherokee. That excited me. Sooner than later I will know what no one alive knows. I will go where no one alive goes.


My wife, Kathy, was right there beside me, all five of my kids & grandkids. Oh, what a lucky man he was. Oh, what a lucky man I was in the park yesterday, walking my Cinder Dawg & watching my grandchildren swing & slide & run. What an invent it was last night to sit down with my family & watch a 007 film. I’ve been ordered by my doctor to lose forty pounds, give up red meat, salt, & sugar, get lots of exercise & eat healthy. I considered just eating bugs, whatever was crawling around, but I’ve come to like those little critters & spend considerable time keeping them out of harm’s way. Kathy & the kids have lots of get dad to eat the right stuff ideas & I’ve agreed to cooperate as best I can.


It’s snowing in Arvada today. Excuse me. Cinder Dawg & I went out to catch snowflakes on our tongues. Surrounded by wonderful people, guess if a man can remember to do important things like that he still has something worthwhile to live for.

~reptiles & dust~
~montana crow~

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
23rd Apr 2013 (#)

Unique post, Wordwulf. You have a lot to keep going including a loving family. Many live on half dead but you are really alive with lots to look forward to. Keep going but the confirmation of return ticket is not in our hands! siva

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author avatar WordWulf
23rd Apr 2013 (#)

amen, brother. that ticket is one way gone. I appreciate your positive wishes.

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author avatar Songbird B
23rd Apr 2013 (#)

Was shocked to read this Tom, but hope that you are doing ok my friend..This world still needs you in it, you can't deprive us of you yet..Wishing you a speedy recovery..\0/x

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author avatar WordWulf
23rd Apr 2013 (#)

thank-you, singer. I'm on my way back.

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author avatar C.D. Moore
23rd Apr 2013 (#)

I wish you a long life with family and friends around you.

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
23rd Apr 2013 (#)

lots of healing to you and soldier on you man of good will...in other words stay around the world needs you and i love your magnificent pics,,,

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author avatar Prakash Aryal
18th Dec 2013 (#)

nice... i love your magnificent post and pics....

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